Polyamory- Your Thoughts, Your Stories, My Situation

Personally, polyamory/polygamy is not for me. But, I have a friend who was telling a story about a polyamory couple that actually work. There are three of them, all men, and they consider themselves married and live together. They are all very happy. It first started with the two of them, and then I guess they thought monogamy wasn't for them and decided to try open, but open never really worked either so they mutually went looking for a third person. I think it works for them because they are all of the same sexual orientation, share a bed, and all do dates together. Being attached to only one person sounds more like an open relationship.

Bottom line, I think polyamory will work if everyone is agreeable to the terms.

 

Polyamory is a fairly large umbrella that covers many ways that a relationship can look like. It can be very open, closed, with very few partners or with a lot. The "rules" of it are completely up to the people involved so there is no one way to do polyamory right.

I'm currently in an open marriage. I consider myself poly, but my husband isn't too keen on the idea of dating someone else so not in a poly relationship. My hope is that later on he would change his mind and we can be an poly couple, but it isn't a necessity for me. I have met a lot of people that have made polyamory work really well for them so it can work if its something that you are into

This is called a "V". Think about your guy friend as the point connection you and the imaginary girl. The term for you and the other girl would be "metamours" which just means you and her are friends, with the same partner, but not romantically involved.

This type of scenario is very common, but each relationship can look different depending on what people want to do. Some people all live in one single house, some people have different houses, and some people have something in between.

If you want to learn more about polyamory I would highly suggest the book and blog called "More than Two". They do an amazing job and going over different way that you can set up your relationship. The scariest thing about polyamory for a lot of people is that there is no "script" that you can follow. The amount of choices available is sometimes overwhelming to people.

I think you two are going a bit too far in your hypothetical. Jumping from "lets maybe date each other" to "lets have a polyamory relationship" is a big step.

I would suggest that you guys try it out first. Start going on dates, hanging out around each other and see what happens. For all you know, you won't even like it. If it works, then start talking about how to make it work long-term, but for now focus on the now.

Way you guys for having open communication and being vulnerable with each other. Its a much needed skill to make polyamory work so keep doing that!

 

I am not sure all poly relationships always start out intentionally. It seems to me people just evolve into them. And by evolving, there are no rules accept as things happen and structure is formed.

Having a non exclusive FWB is an example. If it’s non exclusive, both parties realizes the other party to it might have a relationship with someone else. If both parties then do, and it’s recognzied, that’s a form of poly. But maybe no one calls it that. They just call it an open FWB relationship.