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Should I come out??

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Chris2018, Jul 26, 2018.

  1. Chris2018

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    I'm afab, and bigender. Half the time I love my body (minus the extra weight), and the other half I completely hate it and am very discomforted by it.

    When I am female, I love doing my hair, makeup and wearing dresses. I love my pronouns and name.

    When I am Male I hate my body and face. Feel very detached from it. Pronouns dont bother me much on the outside, though on Male days I love when my husband uses my Male name and pronouns. But it doesnt bother me much when out.

    I'm exploring my identity and now that I've accepted my Male self, I feel happy.

    My issue is that I dont know if I should come out. I'm an adult with my own family. My husbands family are very catholic and not understanding whatsoever to the lgbt community. My family is very conservative religious people. Again, not convenient for a gender non conforming person. Additionally, I have kids that I dont want to confuse or scare. I dont want them bullied for me being who I am.

    For now I am good being my Male self inside my home mostly when the kids are asleep or not home. I do wear my husbands clothes and this doesnt bother them. I have bonded my chest and recently packed in front of them, but they didnt seem to notice. Currently, I am not comfortable wearing my beard and using my Male name and pronouns around my kids family or friends. But the urge to go out in public as my Male self is strong.

    Should I just come out and deal with all the hate, questions, confusion and problems? Should I just be my Male self at home? Should I try going somewhere away from home to be Male in public? What was it like your first time going out???
     
  2. Chris2018

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    Also, if I choose not to come out but cut my hair short, will this out me regardless??? Should i cut my hair? Should I start by slowly wearing more mens clothes until I'm comfortable wearing them out and people dont even notice???
     
  3. quebec

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    Chri2018.....I think you should post this same message in the "Gender Identity and Expression" forum here on empty closets. The people there will understand what you are going through and will be able to offer help and suggestions. I am so glad that you have found us here on empty closets!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  4. Chris2018

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    Thanks David.