social anxiety??

Hey I wouldn't say I am exactly the same as you but I can definitely identify with bits you have written and sympathise with the difficulties you have. I don't think going out clubbing or to the beach in big groups is for everyone and there is nothing wrong with that to a point, being comfortable on your own and in your own company is also a great quality to have. I think the problems arise when the discomfort you feel is overwhelming or when it is preventing you from moving on with your life or doing things you want to do.

What is it abou large groups that you think causes you a problem?

 

I've definitely dealt with the same thing! I love going places by myself, but when I'm invited somewhere I almost always decline. When I don't decline, I get incredibly stressed and anxious because I'm hyper-aware that people are paying attention to me, and I often am suddenly hit with the feeling of "I have to leave immediately."
Bathrooms are great places to avoid people for a little bit, if you're able to get away. What I might do if I were you, would be to make plans to do other things or meet up with other people, so that you can leave part-way through the event without seeming rude for not going at all.

 

I'm very much the same, but take away the line about hanging out with one or two friends, because I have no friends. I enjoy hanging out with family members in small groups. I don't so much hate large groups, but if I am in a large group, I tend to remain silent. When I do talk, I often times feel like no one is actually listening to me. I am going to see my doctor later this week about issues with depression and general anxiety. I'm hoping that some kind of medication will help me somewhat.

 

I always prefer less people if I go out. I feel more at ease sharing my thoughts and feelings with one or two friends. If its a group of 4 or more, I don't feel so comfortable, it feels like I have an audience who I'm supposed to entertain. And chances are some of them will be people I hardly know or have never met before, so it's difficult to choose an angle to approach the conversation from.

To be honest, though, I think a lot of the discomfort comes from us putting too much pressure on ourselves. The other people in the group might be more used to chatting loudly and entertaining lots of friends at once, but that doesn't mean we have to adjust to they're way of interacting. If I want to sit quietly and wait for my moment to speak up and join in, then I will do. Or if I find some common ground with one person in the group, then I will chat with that person, and the group can get a feel for how I interact with people - I'm not being snobby and standoffish, I just prefer one to one conversation to help ease me into the setting.

Mainly, I keep in mind that when I do go out, I'm not going there to entertain people with how wonderful and fun I am, I'm going there because I want a change of scenery and a break from my ordinary routine. I don't let my fear of being exposed to new people stop me from having a nice time out.

 

I have social anxiety and depression and have been dealing with it for a few years now. I never used to have either, but my ex isolated me from quite a few of my friends. I broke up with him and realized most of my friends were gone. I've made a few.. very slowly and do not.mind going out with a smaller group of friends, but when it comes to office get togethers and things along those lines I tend to decline.

People's first impression of me tend to be bad.. I look uptight and unfriendly, but once someone speaks to me I open up and relax almost immediately. I guess being an introvert with social anxiety issues is not a good combo! Lol!! Ironic thing is, I am a loveable and friendly guy and WANT to be social...just cant seem to do it.

As Nice Dave said.. we tend to put too much on ourselves.

 

The worst part of going out with a large group of friends, for me at least, is that I feel overwhelmed with speaking to all of them at once. I find that they make eye contact with me and listen to what I say, but it's super disorienting to keep eye contact with all of them while speaking. I feel like there's way too many eyes on me at one time, haha, and it makes me get super uncomfortable, hot, and sweaty and disgusting. With a smaller group, like two or three other people, it's easier to switch up eye contact and I feel a little easier. But after a while, I do get pretty antsy around people. I'm an introvert and although I like communicating with others, I feel so drained after so little and need time by myself to rest and recharge.

 

There's nothing wrong with having time for yourself. Society makes us believe that solitude is dangerous, but I think that it could help anyone to discover themselves.
The problem lies, I think, when this need of solitude derives in a complete lack of hability to build any kind of social relationships.

I emphatize with your situation, as I felt the same years ago. Nowadays I still have problems to socialize, but the situation has changed: I need to be with people, although big groups scare me. But company is a must for me.