i have felt lucky to be bisexual since I came out to myself. I haven’t really acted on it, but it makes almost every regular encounter I have more interesting because I’ve expanded my horizons. I may never have a relationship with a man, but I am happy to be bisexual.
Biguy45 That's great! Do you ever feel though like you would like to just hang out with other bisexuals? I occasionally do, but it is guys I am intimate with so it is not the same as just having a chat with someone who gets it. The closest person I have to talk about this stuff live is my wife. She's pretty good about it when I talk about seeing a hot guy or hot woman. But, it's still not the same as another bisexual guy. In a couple weeks I am meeting a guy I have been chatting with on line...another married bisexual who is out to his wife. We're just having a beer, but I am SO looking forward to sitting down with another guy on a beach and checking out the local hot guys!
I know that you have often mentioned that you have no intention of discussing this with your wife. I know that feeling really well. I don't know how old your are. But, I went from age 45 to age 55 with this constant nagging fear that I would live my life without ever engaging the entire spectrum of my sexuality, but I assumed I always had time. Those feelings were never on my radar until that age. I loved the way guys made me feel and it was a nice little secret. But, overnight it changed. Literally. I injured my back skiing and suddenly my mortality came to the forefront, along with the urgency that I had run out of time to explore my sexuality. And, I became really angry with my wife for this and it almost destroyed us. It almost destroyed me. Suddenly, I was considering exploring outside my marriage and that was totally not me. But, the urges became so compelling. I hope this doesn't happen to you. Be really careful about that. I've chatted with a number of other guys who went through very similar patterns. I agree about the way being bisexual can feel. To be able to look at the beauty and sensuousness of both men and women is a gift. How we engage it and nurture it is very individualistic.
Yes that is always a concern. I’ve admitted in other threads that I did cheat once, just after I realized I was bi. I enjoyed it, but not enough to ruin my life. I feel the guilt to this day. I have no excuse, I think I just became overwhelmed with desire. I’ve been fine since, but if this becomes a regular thing I will have to talk to my wife about it. She deserves that. I feel like a real scumbag admitting to the cheating, but what’s the point of lying here
No reason to feel like a scum bag. I didn't cheat but it might have been better for my marriage at the time if I had. My wife, conveniently, forgot to tell me that sex hurt due to a medical condition. So, she just avoided me. I was so desperate and lonely. I almost hooked up with both men and women. I certainly put myself out there. My wife would have been pissed and it would have made coming out harder.
I try not to let it bother me, but it does. Like I said, if it gets overwhelming again I’ll have to talk to her. Of course, I continue to be aroused by women I see too, and don’t cheat. Maybe it was the newness of my bisexuality that caused me to go off the rails. Can’t deny I enjoyed it though
I'm not justifying cheating when I say this. But, to me sex with men and women is completely different. My wife feels the same. That's how it works for us. It's not the act so much but the dishonesty that she would have trouble with. Everyone is different.
I'm glad I'm bisexual too. I've accepted my feelings for women to a point where I really love having them. My bisexuality gave me more insight in the way the world works too and I'm grateful for that. The only thing that still keeps me busy is how much I want to say to who.
Dispite how long I spent denying it, I really love being bi. It’s been about a year since I accepted it now, and it’s one of the few thing that’s happened in that year that I’ve never regretted. I do think it’s changed how I look at things. I think it’s made me more accepting, both of myself and of others, and that’s great. It’s kind of weird looking back to when I was pretending to be straight. There were so many things I worried about and that aren't an issue now, or are at least are less of an issue. I’m still dealing with some internalized homophobia, but i’ve gotten much better since I came out to myself. And guys are hot, damn their so hot, why couldn’t I accept that before. Also, I’d deffinately echo the idea that you should find other bi people to talk to. There’s just something about knowing that the other person understand how you feel, really understand it, that is great. And ya, talking to other dudes about hot guys is super fun. Not sure why, but it deffinately is.