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Confused, help?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by lola23, Jul 21, 2018.

  1. lola23

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I've been questioning my sexuality lately and I'm not quite sure how to figure things out. I'm from a small, rural town and there's no queer communities or anything like that around. How did you know? Can you help a girl out?
     
    callistia likes this.
  2. callistia

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hello there! I don’t know if I’ll be able to help you or not, but I’ll try my best. Figuring things out can be tough sometimes, including sexuality. As far as how I knew, I guess the first thing that made me notice was a crush on a girl. It was big enough that I had to notice it (even though I tried my best to deny it for a year). Once I began to question my sexuality, the figuring it out part of the process was a combination of things. I realized that I’d had a couple crushes on other girls before that I had passed off as being a platonic interest because I didn’t know that liking girls was an option. I had never pictured myself with a guy in the future and despite my best efforts, I had never been attracted to guys. And then I tried to picture myself in a relationship with a woman in the future. I realized that I really liked that. Also, I was feeling the attraction that people had told me I’d eventually feel for boys, except the attraction was toward girls. That was my experience, and everyone’s is a bit different.

    I guess I’d try to take a look at your feelings and past experiences. Who are you attracted to? Who do you want to be with in the future? You can try different things out for a bit and if it doesn’t work, then try something else. Take this at your own pace and don’t feel pressured/rushed by anyone. I’d check out PFLAG or the Trevor Project. I don’t know about areas specific to where you live, but I’m sure that there are some that you might be able to find.

    Resources if you want to check them out (no obligation though):
    • PFLAG (some good answers here)
    • The Trevor Project (there are multiple sections here that could be helpful)
    • The Trevor Project (again) (the focus is on coming out but there’s some things about questioning here)
    • 9 Things I Wish I Knew While Questioning My Sexuality (I know there’s more college-oriented stuff here but most of it is applicable regardless of whether or not you’re a college student)
    • There are also some resources at the top of this Sexual Orientation section of the forum (and I believe that there could be something helpful in EC’s Resources section).
    (Sorry about the super long post! Have a wonderful day, and best wishes to you!)
     
    beenthrdonetht, lola23 and HDIGH like this.
  3. lola23

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2018
    Messages:
    2
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    1
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    thank you