well today I pulled the plug on my profile (again) for the online date app I have been on and off with for the past six months... This seems to be a cycle as I feel good when I can walk away from it but after a week or two I begin to miss someone sending me a message or a wink or whatnot.... I like having interactions with bi and gay individuals and for as long as I can remember I really like to get compliments from gay men and I like to flirt as well.... Then I get scared or something inside tells me to shut it down, and I do... I don’t know what to make of it honestly...the website is probably getting sick of me retrieving my deleted profile and uplosding previous pics that were verified etc... I really don’t know what to make of this...can anybody help? I could use some honest feedback...thanks
Sounds like you're either ashamed of your sexuality and get scared, or like the attention and then get scared when it turns serious.
Danabutton I do the same thing. Exactly the same thing. I keep thinking it's a waste of time and effort and then I miss the attention when I get lonely. Where I live, it's my only way to communicate with other bisexuals and I, frankly, resent it. Maybe there is a part of you that knows that these interactions are a lot of time not real? You are looking, perhaps, for a real connection and these apps only illustrate that you are not finding it?
If you really want for the cycle to end, then you need look into two things happening here. Getting compliments from other gay men and flirting can be a lot of fun! The only problem that you have to check is if your self-esteem and sense of worth is coming directly from these compliments. Do you only feel sexy, attractive, etc if you are getting constant reminders? CAn you feel those things without the compliments? If you can have self esteem without the compliments, then its just simple fun. If your self esteem is in large dependent on this compliments, then you need to work on learning how to get your self-esteem from other places that are more stable than online strangers. They should come from within and people you trust. [Like said above, this can be multiple things. The most common thing is feeling ashamed either for being gay or for being on an online place at all. Some people either feel like failure for being on an app/website or dirty if they associate sex outside of a relationship as slutty and dirty. Both things you can get over by working on them outside of the app.
I do a slightly similar thing, Danabutton. I occasionally sign into a blank profile on ####### - just to look at other profiles out of curiosity and for nothing else - and I always find myself deactivating it when the session has ended. But, as Yeahpldk stated, that's because I'm probably ashamed of my sexuality and then find myself getting scared too easily.
