How are relationships between LGBT people and religious people?

It varies. I've met some religious people who are homophobic, and some who are completely accepting and open. I would be careful generalizing any group of people, because there's bad and good in all groups.

 

Honestly, most of the people I know are Christians. I'm bi and Christian myself (Roman Catholic), so I'd be a hypocrite if I denied part of who I am, and stopped being friends with others for their beliefs

Only a few that I am friends with are the extreme bible-banging Christians. Most are very progressive. Hell, most of them don't act holier-than-though and are very progressive, and pro-LGBT.

Does it bother me that I am friends with homophobes? No. Should it? Probably. Bu I've learned that we're not able to change everyone's opinions on everything. I've learned that not everyone will have the same views, and as long as those issues aren't brought up, we get along fine. Plus I'm mostly closeted so that helps as well.

 

I guess I’m a bigot because I seriously cannot stand most religious people. They make me uncomfortable and the gross majority(Christians) that I’ve met are mostly ignorant about their own religion, much less others.

No one is born religious, it’s something that is learned and usually forced on young minds.

I also think the whole concept of organized religion is a little sad and silly.
That’s my opinion and you are entitled to your own.

 

i used to be really hesitant about hanging out with religious people for precisely these reasons, but due to my lifestyle (no drinking/smoking/partying, a “good girl” stereotype basically) i kind of ended up being friends with some throughout college. i shared a house with an extremely religious protestant girl for three years, and for two years i avoided any and all topics that could be controversial because i was afraid of her opinion as a christian. then, one day i joked about how everyone thought this one actor was attractive but “i couldn’t possibly tell because i never thought of guys as attractive” and although i never fully came out to her, she actually turned out to be one of the most open and considerate people when it comes to homosexuality i’ve met. since then we talked plenty about more controversial topics and although there were definitely some things that we respectfully disagreed on, i realised that my bias against religion was actually more discriminating than her interpretation of religion. funny how things go! she’s still a really good friend until today and i am absolutely certain that if one day i do end up with a girlfriend, she’ll be completely supportive (unlike a number of atheists i know)

that definitely doesn’t go for every religious person, but there are intolerant people in any groups, whether they’re religious or not. i grew up in a small, very catholic town that is judgemental enough of lgbt people to make them move elsewhere (not pitchfork extreme, but just a general hostile atmosphere that makes you think twice about sticking around if you’re gay) and i lived in an ultraorthodox jewish neighbourhood for roughly a year where i was once shamed for wearing pants as a woman (behind my back, of course, they wouldn’t say it to my face) so i definitely saw the other side of the spectrum too.

i think it’s fair to be wary of religion because it is so often used as a weapon against the lgbt community and i can definitely see why you felt uneasy. i don’t necessarily think you’re wrong for feeling that way, but i do think we need to be able to look at ourselves critically (not necessarily disapproving!) if we feel this way and agree with @Kodo the we need to be careful not to generalise. treat others like you’d like to be treated yourself. people might surprise you sometimes : )

 

Yeah not that good, although it's more about the conservative society. Not out to them yet but the atmopshere's pretty homophobic here so I'll know what to expect. For example, when articles about a Pride, or a gay activist, or a male sexual assault victim come out in the newspaper, the first thing I'll hear is "What's wrong with these gay people? They're just giving these LGBT excuses for flunking their exams. They should've studied harder or seen a psychiatrist". But I've had good experiences too. I know an Indian-American pandit (Hindu priest) who does pujas (rituals) at my uncle's and my some of my cousins' in the Bay Area and he's really progressive. I've talked to him about Hinduism's tolerance of the LGBT and he explained that Ancient India was a queer paradise. But I've found the Muslims and Christians to be less malleable, maybe because they've got strict texts like the Bible and the Quran telling them how to live their lives.

 

in my experience towns like that tend to be very closed off, which is what prevents them from becoming more progressive. they sort of dwell in their ideas and never have to open up to anything else because there is little influx of new ideas, which is obviously not beneficial. heck, i highly doubt my hometown will ever change, and i definitely don’t feel the need to sit around and hope for it. like i said, it’s fair to be wary of these things! just from my experience once you venture beyond certain communities, especially towns and other relatively closed communities, there are enough people who have either adjusted their interpretations of their religion, or who have always prioritised other aspects of their religion than those which people who weaponize religion have done (for example, prioritising the idea that god loves everyone equally over bible verses that have stuff to say about homosexuality). (small) towns have a tendency to be more conservative that cities in general so it does make sense their religious ideas are more conservative, too (unfortunately). my family is not religious themselves but i can definitely tell the time spent in my hometown of about 1000 people has not exactly affected their views in a good way...

edit: i recognise these things also vary greatly depending on where in the world you are. i grew up in a progressive european country, and although it does have a bible belt it’s different from, say, the US, or eastern europe in terms of the way religion controls people’s views.

 

I've barely met any moderate Christians, in my area it seems like everyone is either an extreme evangelical or one of those people who says they're Christian but cares so little about the religion they've never attended any events like church or read the Bible anyway.

The extreme evangelical ones made me uncomfortable even when I was one sometimes due to the sheer intensity of the beliefs. My family is pretty strict on religion but at least they're willing to bend a little bit on some things, others I've met will literally not do anything even the tiniest bit against the Bible, including refusing to let their children be vaccinated because some vaccines contain animal parts and they see it as violating the 'man and beast can't mix' part of the religion. I'm definitely more uncomfortable around those types now because of the gay stuff too.

 

To be honest I've never really had a problem with religious types. I grew up Mormon and before my parents passed my husband and I pretty regularly attended events with wall-to-wall Mormons. It was never an issue. People were always kind, genuine and polite. I guess it's possible some people didn't approve in their private moments, but I've always been of the opinion that what other people think about me is really none of my business. If it doesn't touch their actions (speech being an action) it doesn't really affect me. I've found a lot of very accepting and loving people pretty much in every religious tradition and I have had close friends from most of the major religious traditions. Is everyone like that? No. And no one's entitled to your friendship, but I think assuming the worst of people only limits yourself.

 

i junk it’s hard to say. there are good and bad movements within all religions (as well as atheism) and good and bad people within those movements, too. my friend was from a very conservative lutheran branch but became much more progressive in her understanding of religion by simply being out in the world, doing her research, and making her religion fit the way she experienced life. that was something SHE was willing to do, and why it’s generally easier to find more progressive religious people outside of closed communities. at the same time, mormons are notorious for being conservative but as @OGS showed, that doesn’t mean all of them are raging homophobes. it really depends. many more factors come into play with homophobia than just religion.

broadly, brahamic religions tend to have verses that talk about homosexuality negatively, but the bible, torah and quran are interpreted in many different ways and plenty of people do not see it as a word by word description of what’s right and wrong. religions that are not grounded in a text, such as hinduism, buddhism and taoism, do not have such a “rule” written down but have equally been weaponised against homosexuality in a number of instances. virtually every religion (except satanism, probably, that one embraces homosexuality entirely) has been used for this purpose at some point, but has also been interpreted as being compatible with homosexuality by other people. and the same goes for more atheist ideals - evolution has been used against homosexuality and so many people who do not support any religion will use “biology” or “science” as an argument against homosexuality.

there are a number of resources out there targeted at religion LGBT people which may be of interest if you’re trying to understand that there are many different ways to interpret religious texts. i believe somewhere on EC (maybe in the sexuality support section) there’s a pinned thread about being gay and christian that includes resources. i definitely don’t mean to say you have to look into them but they might be able to provide insights that your research into religion so far hasn’t shown if you yourself wish to broaden your knowledge. similar resources exist for other religions as well.

also, if you don’t want anything to do with religion, you don’t need to! just remember that every religious person, too, is an individual, and just because they believe in certain god doesn’t mean they’re a bigot by default. they can be, but so can someone who isn’t religious at all. back in high school my school combined our religion and biology class to discuss topics like this, and the intern taking care of the religion part was the worst kind of catholic i’ve met (to the point that he was fired by my catholic school after this project!) but my atheist biology teacher was equally persistent in that from a nature point of view, homosexuality made no sense, so there was no point in discussing it as something real.

in my opinion, it’s generally best to judge people as individuals, which is surprisingly compatible with criticising religion as a whole at the same time. you can be critical of religion and still acknowledge that this christian youtuber is fun to watch. i’m critical of religion myself and anyone who supports homophobic (amongst other things) interpretations that i don’t just disagree with but also go against my entire existence, are people i’m not going to bother with. i don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. but i wouldn’t want people to base their opinion of me based on the bad apples of movements i support, either, so i try to not do the same of others until they reveal themselves as bad apples themselves. which they tend to do pretty quickly in my experience. most bigots who are unwilling to change don’t hide the fact that they are

 

Where Christianity is concerned I tend to look more closely at the denomination that an individual belongs to. I'm more wary around Christians that are committed members of a conservative church that has a poor relationship with the LGBT community, but that certainly doesn't apply to all members of all churches. Some churches are very progressive and welcoming.

Islam tends to lean more conservatively, but that doesn't mean progress isn't being made. Many young Muslims are coming round to a different way of thinking about their faith and how it relates to the world and that's a good thing.

When we're talking about religion and how it relates to the LGBT community we can paint with a very broad brush. In my experience it's better to avoid generalisations and give people an opportunity to demonstrate what faith means to them, even if you personally don't subscribe to any particular religion. Open mindedness is a two way street and we can't reasonably ask people to be open and accepting towards us if we're going to be judgemental towards them.

 

I want to tackle this a bit because I think its dangerous that this keeps popping up all over EC.

In the US, all the research is indicating that LGBT acceptance in Muslims population is increasing rapidly. Overall, american muslims are more accepting of LGBT rights than white evangelicals.

Certain religions alone are never the problem. Religious based discrimination is based on interpretation of scripture. In all abrahamic religions, including Islam, it barely directly touches on LGBT issues. Its just the people that have interpreted that way, but that is changing with all religious people.

So to paint islam as more oppressive than Christianity is just simply not true. At least in the US.

I'm an atheist and have no use for religion, but I don't mind people who use religion to guide their own lives. The only problem that I have is when religious people want to push their own rules to everyone else. Anyone that agrees that laws and public policy should be centered in religious dogma is someone who I cannot be friends with because we have a fundamental disagreeing on how government should be run and how they would want my personal life to be affected simply because they have this stupid belief on something that doesn't even exist.

But I have a lot of friends who are religious who I love dearly. All of them are progressive in their religious believes. My family who are very religious have come around to understand that their own personal religion should not come to matter whether or not I get to marry, have kids etc. As long as we have that clear, I don't mind religion at all and I think its wonderful that many people find meaning within it.

 

I share your general feeling of turn-off and discomfort with religious people, but at the same time I’m very aware that that’s because of my own personal experiences with my extremely religious family. I met several religious people who are very accepting, but there are still too many who aren’t. I won’t be open about being gay with a religious person until I know they’re not bigots, but I probably won’t stop watching YouTube videos simply because the video’s maker is religious (although I might if they’re also very anti-LGBT).

 

there was a thread specifically about islam here not long ago that may have some interesting perspectives when it comes to this religion specifically:
https://forum.emptyclosets.com/index.php?threads/lgbt-and-islam-why-isnt-it-legal.472376/

we need to remember that religion does not exist in a vacuum. in order for anything, including religion, to be weaponised, certain ideas need to be ingrained in a group already. if one person can argue “my god loves everyone equally” and another person can argue “my god, the same god as the previous person, loves only those who are heterosexual”, the problem is not the religion they both support, but the personal beliefs of that person and/or the specific space (not necessarily a geographical space, could also be a community and even an online space) they were raised in, were drawn into, or were exposed to.

 

Literally like most Christian countries have killed gay people for hundreds of years based on religion.

In the US alone gay sex was illegal until year 2003. Christian preachers said that Pulse massacre happened because we deserved it and God planned it. Literally this month the government allowed religious adoption agencies, that get funded through public dollars, to discriminate against LGBT parents because they aren't able to be good parents based on their sinning ways.

Most countries in Africa that still have laws to kill LGBT people have been passed with funding from white evangelical US groups. Most of those countries are christian nations. All laws criminalizing LGBT population in the US have been moved , but they move was largely criticized and opposed by all major religious insinuations in the US. Conversation therapy, which tortures and kills LGBT kids, is still legal in most US states. In most US states the gay panic defense, saying that you are so afraid of homosexuality that you can legally kill a gay person out of fear, is legal to this date.