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Suddenly Passing In Public Due To New Boyfriend?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by YesHomo, Jul 18, 2018.

  1. YesHomo

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2015
    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Maryland
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    As a bi trans man, I find it funny that while I had a girlfriend for two years everyone in public places misgendered me and assumed I was a lesbian. Going out to restaurants it was always, "What can I get you ladies?" and "How are you today miss?" But now that I'm dating a dude, everyone assumes I'm a cis guy. Which is awesome! Don't get me wrong I'm ABSOLUTELY NOT complaining, passing has been my goal from the start. I just wonder what makes strangers assume that I'm male now that I have a boyfriend. I constantly held both my past girlfriend and my current boyfriends hands while walking around. It's clear to everyone we're a couple. But now it's (correctly) assumed we're just a gay couple!

    Also to note:
    I've also had the same haircut and style of dressing (which involves NO style lol) for the past 3 years during multiple relationships. I've dated 5 women publicly and was always assumed female. But now with my first boyfriend I'm always assumed male! Haven't really gotten taller or anything. Still pre everything as well. My boyfriend is a bi cis man, not very feminine. He's nerdy and tall.

    Just wondering if anyone has any theories! Or similar experiences!
     
  2. Aberrance

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2016
    Messages:
    990
    Likes Received:
    136
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thing is us trans guys are a bit of an enigma. Some people toe the line between looking like a 12 year old boy and a lesbian. If a trans guy dates a girl and dresses very masculine they are more likely to be viewed as a butch lesbian than if they were dating a guy and dressing masculine as obviously they wouldn't be a lesbian and hetero cis women tend not to dress so masculine in the majority of circumstances.

    I've always had an interest in guys, never showed an interest in girls in the slightest and before I came out people just assumed I was a lesbian because of the way I dressed. Presentation and expression is how people judge you upon first impression and they make assumptions based on what they see. That can often be difficult for trans people.
     
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  3. RainbowGreen

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2013
    Messages:
    1,442
    Likes Received:
    44
    Location:
    Québec
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Straight guys don't tend to date masculine girls, so when they see your masculinity, they just assume you're a guy. I think it's just that, honestly.
     
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