Transgender Sex

Nope, if you identify as a woman then it shouldn't be considered gay sex unless you're having sex with someone else who identifies as a woman.

 

I would disagree with this. To me if there are two penises involved then it's gay sex. A person's orientation or identity has nothing to do with it in my opinion. If there's no female genital organ being used then I see no way for it to be considered non-homosexual. If a straight guy has sex with another straight guy, them being straight doesn't make the sex any less gay. Same concept with gender identities to me.

 

^ This ^

 

You’ll be having gay sex and while you won’t necesarilly be gay, the guy you’ll be having sex with likely will be.

 

genitals are irrelevant when it comes to determining is something is “gay”. if you identify as female, your body is one of a woman, regardless of what it looks like. as such, if you’re having sex with a man, that’s not gay sex.

regardless of how you feel about it though, you never have to label yourself and what you do anything you’re not comfortable with. so even if you go by the idea that genitals are somehow the most important part (makes me wonder what that would mean for people using toys while sex though - are lesbians using a strap also engaging in straight sex? fake straight sex? pretty sure no matter how they have sex, it’s always going to be gay) you absolutely don’t have to call yourself gay. you’re a woman who exclusively likes men? there you go, you’re straight. that’s all there is to it.

 

i hardly think this is a fair comparison to make. two straight guys are still two guys, and that’s why it’s gay sex. a trans woman is a woman, so if her partner is male, it’s an entirely different scenario.

that said... no straight person calls their sex “straight sex”. maybe it’s time we retire the phrase gay sex and just, y’know, call it sex.

 

i’m sorry, but plenty of trans women have relationships with straight or bi men regardless of their transition? mind you, if a man is attracted to you, he’s at the very least bi, not exclusively gay. because you’re a woman. period.

will there be people who will reduce you to your genitals in the world? unfortunately, yes. but there are plenty of people who can look beyond that and see you for who you are. you’re not doomed to having sex with gay men who see you for a man just because you happen to have a penis, and if a potential partner requires you to call yourself or your sex gay because of it, you’re by no means required to sleep with them.

 

Without the transition the trans woman is only female in their mind though because they're still biologically male, so it's two biological men having sex which is what I would consider gay.

It does make sense to stop calling it gay sex and just call it sex though.

 

As this thread has demonstrated, people have different views. Ultimately, it's not our place to judge. What really matters is how you perceive it and feel about it.

 

Iv

e always thought this way as well but I didn’t want to argue about it

 

Phew, so much going on here. Not sure if I have the energy to quote stuff, so i'll just say my part.

Sexuality labels are for you to use as you see fit. They are mainly used based on your gender identity. So if you are a woman and you only like men, then going by straight is accurate. Anyone that says sexual orientation is based on what you have between your legs is simply wrong. What would you call them a man without a penis who has sex with his wife? Apparently not straight since a penis has to be involved. This also implies that the only way to be "truly" trans is to have sex reaffirming surgery which is not true.

Now, if the question is whether your partner will see it as he being gay or straight that is a very personal question and it depends whether or not you will be disclosing that you are trans, how comfortable he is with the terminology, and where he is in his own journey.

A lot of trans people, whether pre op or post op, will not have sex with someone that doesn't see them as their gender. So even if you are pre op, and pre hormones, you could find a guy who sees you for the woman that you are. And they would be considered straight because they are simply into girls with penises. Way more common than you think,but harder to find if you are in your teens. This also depends if you want them to have certain body part to be off limits whether you have body dysphoria or not.

But again, highly dependent on whether they know or not. Its important to say that their perception of the sex that happens doesn't take anything away from the truth that you are a woman.

 

There will be ao many different opinions on this and no real fixed rules. It's up to you how you want to call it. If you indentify as a woman and you're attracted to men then I'd say you're straight. But if you want to call it gay sex until you transition, that's correct too I guess. It's up to you and hopefully you'll find an accepting partner

 

Honestly, if your body is male and your genitalia is male, and you’re having sex with somebody that’s also shares those traits, it’s gay sex. Not really changing my stance on that. Agree to disagree. Sure, we shouldn’t label it and just call it sex. I said likely will be, so it’s not set in stone that the person will be gay, but somewhere on the LGBT spectrum themselves so yes, bisexual is a possibility. I never ruled that out but go off.

Tl;dr: If a man is sexually attracted to your male body and genitalia and you have sex, it’s gay sex.

 

There is no such thing as a "male body".

Tons of straight men are attracted to trans women because they like women, but also enjoy a woman with a penis. This is transphobia. It plays into the believe that genderqueer people don't exist, that intersex people don't exist, and that the only way to be "truly" a certain gender is by surgically changing your body.

If I have sex with a trans man then even if they have a vagina, I'm still having sex with a man. Its still gay sex. You saying otherwise contradicts everything we have come to learn about gender and even biology itself.

 

Yeah, no. Of course it becomes more nuanced when you add in variables such as a trans man with a vagina or a female with a penis, but this doesn’t apply to OP’s current situation that the thread is about. This is why I specifically outlined in my tl;dr attraction to the male body with male genitalia. Your assertion that there’s no such thing as the male body is a conversation for another time.

 

It doesn't mean you are gay at all, because you identify as a woman so you would still be in a straight relationship, but I do believe you would be having gay sex. Not that it needs to be labeled as such as sex is sex. The way you chose to have sex doesn't influence or change your status as trans person or your sexuality though, you are still a WOMAN but I don't think I would qualify a pre-op FTM having sex with a cis-woman as them having "straight sex" (even if they were to use toys) for example. It wouldn't mean those two people aren't in a straight relationship, they just aren't engaging in straight sex, if you see what I mean.


I think this topic is always going to be quite sensitive and people will differ in opinion as shown on this thread.


I don't think it matters actually, as long as you are having fun doing it, does it matter if it's straight/gay/lesbian sex?