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Gay or Bi?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by ihmawtd1234, Jul 16, 2018.

  1. ihmawtd1234

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    Hello everyone!
    I am a 20 year old male and i consider myself bisexual and have done so for about 2 years...
    Lately i have questioned my sexuality alot though and i hope you guys Can help.

    So...
    I feel sexual attraction towards both genders... it is very complicated though because it is Way more frequent that i see a woman that i find attractive since my taste for women is very wide (women my own age and milfs)...On the other hand... my attraction to guys is very narrow since i have a very specific type, however when i see a guy that fits my type i am more attracted to him than any woman basically...
    since my attraction to guys is so limited i almost always watch straight porn and find great pleasure in that...
    when i masturbate without porn its the other Way around since my imagination allows me to picture that perfect guy... in other words; i mostly fantasize about those type of guys, i do ocassionally masturbate while fantasizing about a woman too though...
    Lastly... Romantically i would say my ideal partner would be that special and in my case very rare guy...Emotionally that feels like the absolute ideal of love for me...
    However i could also see myself in a relationship with a woman and i also have had a crush on a Girl before... it would be emotionally satisfying for me im sure but it would not be as strong as a relationship with that special guy...

    Am i bisexual or just gay?
     
  2. Nickw

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    Have you been intimate with either or both?

    I, too, have a type of guy that just does it for me. But, most are totally uninteresting.
     
    #2 Nickw, Jul 16, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2018
  3. Himo

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    I am in almost the same mind set as you (but I have a long term relationship with a woman). At the moment I am discovering my sexuality in a wider spectrum (with 30yo). I think it will result in me being gay. But I still don't know... So can't tell for you.

    This forum is great, since it gives you a lot of brain-food and support... I am sure you will get 20 answers and every single answer will be different. Nobody can tell “what you are”... I learned being patient discovering my sexuality...

    Best of luck!
     
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  4. Biguy45

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    I too have very narrow attractions to men. I basically like muscled male model type highly sexy. Most guys do nothing for me. On the other hand, everyday I find myself visually enameled of new women. I try not to over analyze it, I’m bisexual and I like hit guys with rock hard abs and chests. It’s not really that weird I guess
     
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  5. Danabutton

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    Agreed mine are very narrowed as well....
     
  6. ihmawtd1234

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    Hey can u private message me or something? im new so i dont know how it all works :grin:
     
  7. ihmawtd1234

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    Okay nvm.. i cant reply to you or something hahah... we can just discuss here...

    I have been intimate with one guy and we just fooled around abit.. i enjoyed it alot... he was also my type :grin:

    Generally i have never really had any "women in my life" besides my mom hahah... so maybe that explains why i tend not to feel as strongly emotionally towards women... Perhaps that changes if i actually befriend a girl who actually likes me.. idk...

    What about you? it would be awesome if you could quickly explain your whole situation :grin:
     
  8. Nickw

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    Well. I'm middle aged. Married at 24. Bisexual. Finally told my wife a couple years ago. I never was withs man until about 6 months after I came out to my wife. Her idea.

    I have occasional intimacy now with men and still with my wife.

    It is difficult to know how real the same sex desires are. Or, in your case, opposite sex desires until you have experimented some in my opinion.

    You are young enough to go with the flow here and just open yourself to the possibilities.
     
  9. ihmawtd1234

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    Wow what a nice wife you have haha :grin:

    And yeah i guess im still young and so on but its still confusing as hell haha :grin:

    Anyways... Do you think i sound like a bisexual from my original post?
     
  10. Nickw

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    Sexuality is a spectrum between completely gay and completely straight.

    Only you know where you stand on this. Society gives us lots of reasons to be straight. Yet, you are comfortable seeing yourself with this guy that you find attractive.

    If I were you, I'd find that guy and see how it goes. I did that with a woman. I found my perfect match and it was the right thing for me.

    If you are truly bisexual, you will be able to find love in some person regardless of gender. If you can appreciate any gender, you are a lucky man in my opinion.
     
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  11. Love4Ever

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    You sound bi. You're sexually attracted to women, and a gay wouldn't be. You just sound like you're maybe romantically more inclined towards men.
     
  12. Silveroot

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    I'm 25. I find very few men attractive, mainly men with feminine personalities and bodies. I don't know if I'm bisexual or gay either, because that might just be another reason to keep denying I'm all gay.

    I'm sure you'll be fine either way, whether you're bisexual or gay. I wish you find happiness.
     
  13. Love4Ever

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    Whoops I meant to put man after the word gay. I'm not sure how that word got left out.
     
  14. Mihael

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    Same here. Exactly the same.

    Yes, it may be that if you know few women, you have had no chance for fall for one.
     
  15. iwa

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    Same here, but for me it's even narrower, seems to be I have an erotic response to images of young hairless tanned guys say 19-27 years old that are fitness models and flexing, not the real bulky ones, just the ones that have that perfect Greek statue look. I used to be terrified of that fact, and I thought I was just in denial and repressing my gay side. But once I opened up to it and made my peace with it, I finally figured out that I just have body envy and for some reason it's sexualized around muscles. I just can't get into male genitalia and in real life once I get to know those types in the gym I have no interest in them. In general I've just never had a romantic desire for men, but perhaps the right guy just never showed up. :slight_smile:

    I realize now that the pictures are often photoshopped, and maleness often gets photoshopped out by smoothing the skin and so on. Up close, skin texture and body hair and general "maleness" just ends up turning me off, which is why the older the guy, the more my attraction drops off radically. I did try fooling around with a guy once, just didn't work, I liked being touched, but wasn't interested in the other guy.

    What's important to me though is to not be homophobic, and instead just let myself enjoy what I enjoy. We're all on a spectrum. I think I could get into fooling around with mutual muscle worship with another guy if it was just the right guy.
     
  16. MTo

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    I am a lot like this. Would prefer the random women to the random man if its about sexual attraction, but a man that fulfills my criteria (very often straight unfortunately) sticks much deeper. I can also picture myself getting wife and kids but this might just be a dream. I am basically out as gay. Came out 2 years ago. Now I would say bi. Have only had sex with women.

    Basically just do what feels right. I have had some experiences where a girl likes me and I «kind of» like her too, but I feel that something is wrong.