I have a crush on a guy in my year at school. Judging by the way things are looking, I am thinking that he is straight. I hate this. It's so irritating when that happens as you know that he won't like you back. To make matters worse, of the few gay guys I know, none are my type. Has anyone else felt like this before? It always feels as if I can't find the right type and all of the ones that I want are straight.
Welcome to my life. I lust often for straight guys, which doesn't provide me much grief, eye candy is eye candy. But the killer is falling deeply in love with straight guys, which has frequently happened. Wish I had sage advice for you.
It's so frustrating, isn't it? I have sort of fell in love with him, as his personality is just as attractive as his looks. I'm unsure if I will ever find that type in the gay community. It's hard enough at my age when I don't know much gay guys, but the few gay guys I know are just not my type in either looks or personality.
Will a gay guy like him ever come my way? It's the first time that I have fell in love with someone and there is no chance of anything ever happening.
Yes. If you meet a lot of gay people you'll eventually find someone you feel the same way about as this guy. People are people regardless of sexual orientation, so some gay guy out there will have the same traits you find attractive in this guy - you just have to meet enough people to find him.
falling for pretty much any straight guy who physically exists and has a pulse: an autobiography but seriously it's really annoying and sad because you look at them and like your heart stops and you keep searching for signs but deep down you know it will never happen... the way i look at it however is: if he's straight, he's not the one!
Where can I meet these gay guys? I think that I will inevitably keep falling for straight guys if I am not around the gays. I really wish that he was gay. I felt so great around him.
I've met a few accidentally just by being in places with large amounts of people. It doesn't necessarily have to be a specifically LGBT place, just being around lots of people you'll eventually run into gay guys. Whether they're out or not, or identifiable is just luck. The more people you meet, the bigger the chance of finding other gay guys will be. Once you're a little older and less restricted you can go to the places like gay bars or meetups of gay social groups to meet them. Unfortunately even being around gay guys you'll still fall for straight guys just because of the number of them though. If only 10% of guys are gay/bi, 90% aren't. So there will always be a big chance of falling for one of the 90%. It's important to have a social network to help you get over those times you fall for a straight guy though. If you have other people to hang out with you won't dwell on it as long and will be able to stop thinking about it faster.
We all do it. It happens. It sucks. I mean, I’ve developed hardcore crushes on friends before. And even though you haven’t described this guy’s personality, I can almost guarantee you’ll meet a gay or bi guy with a similar personality. Not all gay guys are the same, personalities differ. Some may be flamboyant. Some may be jocks. There’s no model for a gay guy’s personalities or looks. As far as meeting said guys, sometimes you just have to wait, man. I had no gay friends in high school, as far as I was aware. Now I’m going into my senior year of college and I’ve had friends who are gay, bi, pan, enby, trans. And I never went out of my way to find any of them. My roommate was gay freshman year. I became good friends with a guy down the hall who’s roommate was gay. One of my coworkers who just graduated is enby and their fiancé is pan. A girl who was an RA in my building I found out is bi during a class I had with her. The list goes on. I have lots of friends in the community and I met them along the way, just living life.
He has a very charming and sweet personality. Just an all round nice guy with plenty of charisma. Not overly masculine, but not exactly loud or flamboyant. Perfect. He is also very good looking. Beautiful blue eyes, nice hairstyle. I have to admit that I fell a bit in love. It saddens me that he probably isn't into guys.
Well, good news is that there is surely a guy that fits that mold out there. And hopefully you meet someone like him!
Fingers crossed. Have you met much gay guys like that? It just feels that most gay guys are really masc or are flamboyant.
Yes, actually. There's actually this one guy that I sadly have a puppy dog crush on (even though I'm a senior in college). He's very charming and sweet. He kind of hates me but whenever he sees me he's smiley and happy and he has this dopey open-mouthed smile that just kind of makes me melt. He's just an incredibly nice person. He's not like hella masculine but he's not fem. It's kind of...had I not first come into contact with him through him being a friend's boyfriend I probably would not have guessed he was gay. He's also really attractive, has nice eyes, and has a nice hairstyle. So, gay guys like what you describe do exist.
If you like his attributes then I guess it would make sense you would like it if you were that way also, so if that would make you happy then sure, you can try to emulate him. That's a delicate balance though - I've seen this go badly when people try to emulate lost friends/lovers. They try really hard to be like them but can never get something quite right and it hurts their self-esteem a lot because they feel like they'll never be as good as the other person even doing all the same stuff they do. There was one friend I had who lost his best friend, and he was always jealous of his friend's body so worked out obsessively trying to emulate it for a long time. He eventually realized it was never going to be possible because he just wasn't built the same way his friend is so couldn't look the same way. He was so depressed over it he stopped working out completely and gained like 40 pounds, which made him feel even worse about his body and got him more depressed. Emulating good traits can be healthy, but obsessing on it can be damaging. Don't let yourself feel bad over it if you can't emulate him completely.
I'm not sure how to emulate him, but I know that his style is really good and has helped him. He is flawless. Myself, on the other hand, don't feel as if I would have anything to offer in terms of physical attractiveness or personality, so I should try to learn from the best.
Yea as you can see from the comment section alot of us have been there. It has happend to me once really bad. Unfortunately this type of situation comes with the territory, I have gotten pretty good at what I call "guarding my heart" I don't let myself fall for guys I know are unavailable. I know it sucks but it can be done.
