1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How do I help a friend come out when I'm not the help they want?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Michaelina, Jul 6, 2018.

  1. Michaelina

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2018
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I have a friend who is afraid to tell her parents and the people around her that she is bisexual. Her other close friends and I know and try to support her, but she wants an adults advice who has come out and understands what she's going through. She wants that adult to be someone she knows and trusts. I'm fairly certain that she wouldn't enjoy the idea of going onto a forum and talking to people she doesn't personally know. I've tried to help her and support her along with other friends, but I'm not sure how to help her anymore. Sometimes we'll be talking about it and she'll sort of end the conversation before we really conclude our conversation. I want to help her but I really don't know how. Does anyone know how I could possibly help her when we I'm not the help she's looking for?
     
  2. SomeUsername

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2017
    Messages:
    122
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    1. Maybe try to get her to go to a GSA meeting.
    2. Just continue being an accepting, supportive friend and listen to what she has to say. If she feels like opening up to you, she will, but there's not much you can do if she's not ready.
    3. If she doesn't want to join a forum, she could still benefit from reading the advice and conversations on other forums and subreddits.
    4. When I was angsting over coming out to family, I found it uplifting to read and watch media in which it works out for the protagonist/ the parents come around. I don't know if your friend would feel the same way, but maybe you could recommend something like "Love, Simon" to her to see if she likes it.
     
  3. smurf

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2015
    Messages:
    1,645
    Likes Received:
    638
    Location:
    Florida
    Usually the best thing that you can do is help make stuff happen.

    If your friend wants to talk with an older LGBT person who can give you guys a different perspective then help make that happen.

    You guys sounds really young so this might be tricky, but not impossible. Easiest thing to do is try to host a panel of older LGBT people to your school through a GSA or some type of club. You could simply contact your local LGBT organization and see if the three of you can sit down with someone to ask questions about their coming out story etc. That might help a lot and any LGBT leader in your community would love to be able to share their story.

    As said above, you could find youtube videos of an older person talking about.

    Another thing that you can do is ask he what she wants to get out of this meeting with an older LGBT person? Then if its impossible to meet up with an older person then you can see how else she can get the things that she needs in other ways.