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BI, but feel like I am turning gay?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Nicholas7, Jul 2, 2018.

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BI, but feel like I am turning gay?

  1. I am gay

    8 vote(s)
    40.0%
  2. I am BI

    12 vote(s)
    60.0%
  1. Nicholas7

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    performing what does that mean?
     
  2. Nickw

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    Try this. Next time you are with your GF. Don't think about "sex". Just let yourself go and only think of how much you love her.

    Step back for second and stop overthinking this. You are stressing out and it is impossible to understand something when that happens
     
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  3. Nickw

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    Performing means maintaining an erection and being able to orgasm
     
  4. Nicholas7

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    Oh yeah i get a erection lol
     
  5. Nickw

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    So. What's "weird" about sex with your GF?
     
  6. Nicholas7

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    IDK i only did it once, I lost my virginity 3 days ago it was my first time
     
  7. Bicchi

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    Okay I’m confused. Your most recent comment says you’ve just lost your virginity and only had sex once, yet here you say the sex is good “sometimes”? Am I missing something?
     
    #67 Bicchi, Jul 4, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2018
  8. Bicchi

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    You really underestimate sex, which is understandable since your first time wasn’t that great(?) and it was your first time but please, don’t downplay sex. There’s so so many relationships that have been compromised due to sexual needs not being met. Just head to r/DeadBedrooms to see numerous examples of this.

    Regarding another comment you say “If I we’re turning gay then I wouldn’t want to be with her” while this reasoning sounds like common sense and right on paper, a glance into the LGBT Later in Life section will help you discover that life is a bit more complicated and nuanced than that.
     
    #68 Bicchi, Jul 4, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2018
  9. Nickw

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    OK. I will repeat myself here. Good sex takes practice.

    The first time I was with a guy, it was not what I expected. I couldn't wait for it to be over. After, all the years of fantasy it was meh!

    So, a few days later, he and I got together again and the sex was awesome!

    We build up expectations by fantasy or porn and then expect real life to work that way. It just doesn't a lot of the time.

    Making love takes practice, sharing, communication and care. Mostly, it takes being able to be completely selfless. To forget about yourself and be only there for your lover.

    None of us figure that out the first few times.
     
  10. Nicholas7

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    No i only had sex once with her and thats the only sex i have had
     
  11. Chip

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    I'm not sure exactly what you're asking. Emotional attraction, with no sexual desire behind it, is friendship. You can certainly have people that you are friends with that you have zero sexual attraction for. And you can have sex with someone that you don't feel much of any connection with (basically, a hookup.) But a healthy relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend is something that encompasses physical, emotional, and romantic connection.
     
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  12. Himo

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    Thanks Chip. That was my question yes.
    When you are in a long time relationship with a woman and you realize you are attracted to „man-to-man-sex“ those lines of emotional and physical connection seem to get fuzzy.

    In my example i love my GF, i like to cuddle, feeling her, her smell. But with men i only wish sex, i block off the emotion, the tenderness, kissing... i hope i can say one day: i love my gf and it feels natural having sex with her. (Or the opposite with a man).

    I hope i find a method to accelerate the process...
     
  13. Love4Ever

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  14. Nicholas7

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    well Just had a wank over a girl. it felt good so i aint gay,,,
     
  15. Nickw

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    Nicholas

    You very well could be bi. You did have sex with a dude which means you aren't straight.

    So, why aren't you wanting to be intimate with your girl friend any longer after doing it once?

    No one here is saying you're gay. But, you do seem worried that you might be.

    Before I accepted that I am a bisexual, I accepted that it meant I was gay. Because, well, wanting to have sex with another guy is sorta gay...don't you think?
     
  16. Nicholas7

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    I wanna fuck guys and girls
     
  17. Chip

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    Nicholas,

    You seem convinced that you know what you are, and are rejecting of any input that suggests otherwise. So therefore, it would seem like you don't need any input from anyone, and it's probably a waste of time for people to respond to you.
     
  18. Chip

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    OK, then, since you clearly are fully aware of everything going on in your unconscious (which would mean you're the first person in the world to have that awareness), then you can go on your merry way, and don't require input from anyone.
     
    #78 Chip, Jul 5, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2018
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  19. Nicholas7

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    I really dont care if i am gay or bi. But labelling myself as gay feels wrong because i always go back to women its so annoying i do wish i was gay though or straight its easier then being bi
     
  20. Nicholas7

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    Thanks for the help chip and I am sorry about being rude before I was just so stressed out :slight_smile: