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Feeling awkward and unfulfilled after coming out

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Idrk, Jul 4, 2018.

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  1. Idrk

    Idrk
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    I'm 16 yrs old and bi, and I've been struggling with my sexuality for over 3 years now. It took a long time to realize who I was and come to terms with it, but once I did, I decided I wanted to share this with the person I'm closest with- my mom. So about a year ago, I told her that I'm bi, and the conversation didn't really last very long. She was surprised but not upset, and it was kind of the only awkward conversation I've ever had with her. The only other person I had told before her at the time was my best friend (who I'm no longer friends with). But after I told my mom, I expected it to be very freeing and great, but it was just slightly uncomfortable and afterwards everything kind of stayed the same. I feel like it'd be different if I had a gf to reveal to her or something, but I feel like nothing changed and she still thinks of me as being straight. It's made my time coming out feel insignificant and I wish I could go back and redo the whole thing. What should I do?
     
    #1 Idrk, Jul 4, 2018
  2. Raydar0110

    Raydar0110
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    My experience was 90% the same. I told my mam(I'm British and don't use the word "mom" as I will be stabbed) I was gay by telling her I had a boyfriend who she had already met and thought was just a friend. We talked for a bit and she was fine with it.

    Everything will be the same apart from you might bring home a girlfriend and not a boyfriend. I don't have experience with coming out as bi, but I think there is a larger chance of her thinking it is a phase as you could still have a boyfriend. I was asked if I has any interest in girls almost immediately after telling her.

    I built up coming out to be some grand event that would change my life, but it isn't. It doesn't change your life. It allows you to live the same life as you did before, just in the open. Don't worry about it feeling insignificant. It won't feel that way when you say "this is my girlfriend" and your parents welcome her without shock. It won't be insignificant when you feel comfortable around your family when talking about relationships because you have nothing to hide.

    Coming out can be the most anticlimactic thing ever but it will change your life for the better. Never forget that.

    I would focus on being open with your parents and talking about it more to get both them and yourself more comfortable with it.

    Hope this helps.
     
    #2 Raydar0110, Jul 4, 2018
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  3. Idrk

    Idrk
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    Thank you so much, this makes me feel a lot better about it. It makes sense for her to think it's a phase, especially with comments in the past about not really understanding bisexuality. I've decided to just wait it out as she's probably doing the same ig it'll come together in the future
     
    #3 Idrk, Jul 4, 2018
  4. HM03

    HM03
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    Have you guys talked about it after you came out? After I came out to my dad I felt better, but not as good as I thought it would feel. I still have a ways to go, but it feels a bit better since we're kinda talked about it since
     
    #4 HM03, Jul 4, 2018
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  5. Idrk

    Idrk
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    Yeah we talked about it once after but it was more like me ranting about feelings and she just kind of listened. I wanna talk to her again but I'm trying not to bc ik it's just gonna go the same way and not really help much
     
    #5 Idrk, Jul 4, 2018
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