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Do I have to have a label?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by jade778, Jul 2, 2018.

  1. jade778

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    I am questioning whether I am a lesbian or bi, because I sometimes feel attracted romantically/sexually to guys, but much more often to girls. And right now I really just want to be with girls, but that could change. I think what is confusing me is that people assume to be bi you have to like each the same amount. But is it ok to be bi and still like females much more than males?
     
  2. tystnad

    tystnad Guest

    definitely! if you browse a couple of topics about bisexuality here you’ll find that’s the case for many people. attraction doesn’t have to be 50/50, you can lean towards one side more or experience attraction differently depending on the gender. that’s perfectly okay, and you can call yourself bi or even lesbian if you feel the unbalance is so strong you can only envision yourself end up with a girl —— or not use a label at all. that’s up to you! people are going to make assumptions about you regardless of what label you stick to (or even without a label, make assumptions based on your relationships or whatever) unfortunately, so if you want to pick one at all, pick one that works for YOU :slight_smile:

    edit: labels also don’t have to be permanent, if you find that things change as time passes (either because you’re learning more about yourself or because your attractions change), that’s ok! many of us have changed how we identify at one point or another, there’s really nothing wrong with that. so don’t worry too much about labels :wink:
     
    #2 tystnad, Jul 2, 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 2, 2018
  3. Naters2000

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    You don't need a label! Of course, if you want one, you can go for what you think best suits you. Also, you can change your label as you learn more about yourself. I used to identify as bi, but I realized later that I'm gay.
     
  4. ThatBorussenGuy

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    No, you don't have to have a label if you don't want one, and yes, you can still be bi if you like girls more than guys. You don't have to like them the same amount.
     
  5. HDIGH

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    While many people find comfort in finding "their" label, it can provide a sense of identity and belonging, it is by no means mandatory. What labels we choose to use, or not use, are entirely up to us. The whole point of them is what feels comfortable to each individual.
    Also, what label fits us may change depending on where we are in life. I spent the majority of my life convinced I was "straight" and was comfortable with that label. Then, as I began questioning my attractions and history I found the label "hetero-romantic bisexual" and adopted that because it fit more. Further self reflection and then opening up led me to realize I was actually fully "bisexual". And finally(so far lol) as I began to embrace my sexuality and learn more about the lgbt community I learned the meaning of "pansexual" and use the label "bi/pan". For those "in the know" I use pansexual but with others, for simplicity's sake, I just say bi. The key here is that at each step it was what I was comfortable with. Not something I had to fit into but what fit me.
    And I get where you're coming from on the perceptions around "bi". Some people can't get past the mental block of thinking we have to fit in a box:
    Straight=100% heterosexual
    Gay=100% homosexual
    So Bi must = 50/50
    ....just no lol. It doesn't work like that.

    Bottom line. Go with whatever you are comfortable with and be happy with who you are.
    High-bi-five and supportive hugs!
     
  6. Confoozed

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    I think too much emphasis is put on us having labels, well labels are for clothes not humans lols but seriously it's just another way to divide us. Just go with your flow discover you...
     
  7. Love4Ever

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    Nope, you don't have to have a label. I'm of the belief they're for soup cans personally, not people. Like who you like. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that.
     
  8. davidfreckelton

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    You don't have to label yourself if you don't want to. I like labels personally but not everyone does. You do you mate