I'm trans, but somehow find myself unable to let go of some feminine things. I've had to for survival reasons often present feminine in some way, or another. Is this just me being afraid of stepping out of the box I put myself in? Am I any less male, if I'm feminine? It's confusing, as I always identified as some term which accepted male and female, but I always leaned heavily towards masculinity. Over time now I've decided the masculine side of me seemed to make me happier and is more what I'm interested in transitioning into. But, there's some feminine things I'm fond of. Like the occasional jewelry, or heels, or sorta feminine top. Is this okay? Or, perhaps am I just holding onto what's left of my feminine self?
A phrase I often see in a lot of threads here on EC is "gender identity is not the same as gender expression." Yeah, you can wear that top, those heels, that jewelry, and still be a guy at heart. Lots of cis guys wear jewelry, it doesn't make them transwomen, so why should you wearing jewelry (or anything else traditionally feminine) make you less of a guy? And we can't know if it is just you holding on to your past life, and you don't seem to know either. Just wear what you want to wear; if you later decide that you don't want to wear that stuff, that's perfectly fine. If on the other hand, if you still want to wear that feminine stuff after a while, that's ok too. Like I said earlier, it doesn't make you less of a man
Of course this is okay. Probably not everyone is going to get it but it doesn't mean there is somehting wrong with it. People look with stereotypes, and it's just presentation, putting on an act so that you can communicate something . not that it has any real meaning...
There are plenty of men who have feminine traits or expressions, and it does not make them any less of a man. The same goes if you are trans. It is perfectly normal and okay to have a feminine side as a transgender guy. Or as a guy, period. Your expression does not invalidate your identity.
Agree with all this. Yes of course it is okay *liking to wear jewellery*. To give it a slight twist, as a genderfluid person I like to wear *some* jewellery. There's male and female elements of me jostling here but the fact is I like to wear that jewellery (or eg eyeliner). Get over it everyone it's me!!
I don't think that you are afraid, or holding on... You are Just You! The truth is (IMO) that we have all been indoctrinated into a Binary thought process when it comes to gender, when the truth is that the psychological side of gender is actually a line segment with female traits and one end and male at the other with an infinite number of points in-between, which is where I fall. I've gone back and forth for a number of years on where on that line I am, and in a "Perfect" world where there were no external pressures I think I would primarily stay on the feminine side or perhaps express a mix of both. So It sounds to me like you are just being true to yourself outside of the compartmentalized boxed that society says you have to be in and that is great! One other thing that I would like to mention is that although it doesn't come without difficulty if you are more in the middle that can be a very liberating and experience and a place of deep understanding because it can allow you to see and understand people and situations from both the male and female perspective, and there are different advantages to each.
