Hi, I have concerns regarding coming out to my family as bisexual. I have been debating the topic for some time now. I'm not sure whether coming out is a great idea. I am bisexual and am in a long term relationship with someone of the opposite sex (so I often pass as straight). Most of my close friends I have told (and they are very supportive). However, most of my family have been known to be quite homophobic, especially my father. Almost two years ago I moved out of my parent's home and have lived with my fiancé for the last year and a bit. We have a very good relationship and she knows I am bisexual. My aunt (who is gay) and her mother and father (my grandparents) I have told as they are pro-LGBT. I feel like I am hiding this huge part of who I am and yet telling them could be disastrous. So I guess my question is, do the pros outweigh the cons?
TeeVee..... First of all, hello and welcome to empty closets! Coming out is one of the significant experiences that separates us from the heteronormative world around us. It's a potentially terror-filled event that could sever our relationship with people that we really do love. Both the substantial negative and positive possibilities in this action gives us the right to choose who, when, where and if we will come out. There is a difference between hiding something from your parents and choosing not to subject yourself to a serious, emotionally harmful reaction. Unless there is a good reason to come out to your parents, a reason that overrides the negative reaction that you expect, then I would not do it. I haven't come out to all of my friends and family...in some cases I just see no real need to tell them. In others....my 90-year old mother...I don't think it would accomplish anything other than confusing her. So I guess I'm saying, step back and evaluate the pros and cons of telling them and then go with the choice that works best for YOU. There is nothing that requires you to tell anybody! .....David
Thanks for you advice Quebec. I think I'll give it a little which longer before I make my final decision. I think that I will tell them at some point, its just a matter of when.
I wouldn’t come out to them yet. I don’t think it’s worth the possible chaos. That being said, if your fiancée was of the same sex, they would find out sooner or later, in which case coming out would be the best thing to do. But for now, it’s not worth the trouble.
