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My Dad wants me to date Peru ladies without knowing I’m gay.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ladyinside, Jun 22, 2018.

  1. ladyinside

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    When my Dad noticed I haven’t dated any girl for quite some time, he suggested I should date Peru ladies. I couldn’t disagree with him or else he will drive me out of the house. I tried, though, but I really can’t take it especially when the lady shows motives. I hate it so much. My Dad is a retired army that’s why I can’t tell him my biggest secret. My mother knew about it but my Dad doesn’t. For sure, he won’t take me as his child if he will know that I’m gay. I want to respond to his plea, however, I can’t really see myself dating hot chicks. What should I do?
     
  2. Mindy

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    Sooner or later you will see you have only one choice. It will eventually drive you crazy. When you have the resources to be on your own, find a support group (probably tons in NYC) and Ill be you find many others in the same exact situation. See what approach had the best results and then have a talk with your dad. He probably will have a bad reaction, but once its set in Id have to think he would gradually become rational and accepting.
     
  3. quebec

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    ladyinside.....Hello and welcome to empty closets! First off...consider your own safety. If coming out to your father could end up putting you in a dangerous place...then now is not the time to tell him. You don't mention your age. If you are a teenager living at home, then until you are able to move out and be financially independent you will need to keep your sexuality private. As far as being "forced" to go on dates...well, that's tough. :old_frown: . If you need to stay stealth (hiding your sexuality) then I guess you could go into the "date" with the idea of perhaps finding a new friend. By going on dates with several different girls, you could...hopefully....avoid having one of them develop a crush on you. I really hate to give advice that means that you would actually be misleading the girls...but sometimes you have to do a "smaller" wrong to avoid a much bigger, worse wrong! Depending on the "vibe" you get from a girl, you might be able to tell her that you're not ready for a relationship and are being pressured by your father. You could let her make the decision to continuing seeing each other occasionally or not based on the idea of developing a friendship. That way you wouldn't be misleading her. Of course if that gets back to your dad, it could be a problem. A lot depends on the girl and how you think she would handle it. I'm not exactly sure what you mean when you say "Peru ladies". Is Peru perhaps the country that your family is from? Or is it something else? I hope I've given you something to think about...keep us updated here on empty closets. You are part of our LGBTQ Family and we do care!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag: