Tired of my sexual frustration(call for help, vent, whatever)

Like I've written in the title, I'm getting tired of being sexually frustrated. And masturbation is not helping me or serving me any good whatsoever. There's no actual physical contact that you have with masturbation(sorry if this sounds creepy, but I'm expressing my frustration with not having sex).

I have never had sex before, I don't know who to have sex with and I don't know who to trust to have sex with. I can think of a list of guys who I would like to have sex with, but I know it's not realistic or practical to pursue those people. I know there's apps and websites, but I'm nowhere near ready to use them and I know that I can't just get up and use them in an instant.

I'm just tired of having no one to have sex with. I'm just tired of not having sex. I'm just tired of masturbation being the only way for me to pursue sex.

And I know that I have to go outside and talk to other guys(and other *people*, of course), but it's not that easy. You have to find out other people's interests to see what you have with them in common(something that I have a hard time doing), you have to talk to people about your interests, you have to talk to people about SOMETHING. You have to understand social cues(something that I, as an autistic person, have a hard time dealing with even when I *do* understand some of them and *even then* it's something that I'm awkward with).

But I also don't want to be using people for sex either(sounds contradictory to what I want, doesn't it?).

I just don't really know what choices to make with my sex life at this point. I feel I don't have a choice. All of the guys I want to have sex with are either straight, in a relationship, out of reach or any combination of the three. I guess this is a call(or a yell) for help.

 

Thanks for the advice. I'm not sure if it's connection per se(not denying what you're saying, though). I should've also clarified that I have a lot of sexual fantasies about the people who I know I can't pursue or ask to have sex with. I know getting to know potential sex partners first is a must, but I feel regardless of what I do, I would be just using them for sex. I can't help but to think that. And I know telling them or asking them about having sex with them at any point in time, whether sooner or later, would probably result in them being offended.

Like I said, I've never had sex before, but really, it depends on how you define "having sex"... I may have told a fib when I said I never had sex before. I got awfully close to performing mutual masturbation a few times with a taxi driver in a car before I backed out of it(because it was in public view... Yes, he was that bad), he consented to me touching and feeling him and I even told him that I wouldn't mind kissing him, which he said he wouldn't mind me doing. I also complimented him on his looks once. I was 17 back then. He was 60-something(I can't remember his exact age). The kissing didn't happen by the way. I haven't seen him in a long time(not that I really want to try and do anything with him again). One other thing: he's married with a wife, he has a grown-up daughter and he seemed a bit pervy with the way he behaved as well... He complimented me a few times on my Mum's appearance and asking me if I like the "pretty girls"(the girls/young women in my age group) hanging around outside my local college.

I just thought I would tell the above story to see if that would help with getting any guidance. I've also written this on my phone, so I don't know if I can use any collapser tags. Sorry if I'm breaking any forum rules and Mods, feel free to remove the above paragraph if you feel I'm breaking any.