Label for sexual orientation - Nonbinary

I've seen the labels bi/pan used for instances like this. While bisexual is sometimes considered to be an attraction to men and women, there are plenty of people who consider it to be either for all genders, two genders, or multiple genders (in your case, women and non-binary people). There are also non-binary people who use the labels gay/straight depending on which gender they align themselves with (i.e. if they are non-binary but feel more female than male) or because they used these labels before realising they were non-binary and have just grown comfortable with them. This does, of course, come with the disadvantage that if you state your sexuality without your gender, people are likely to misgender you due to assumptions about what they mean.

A lot of the well-known sexuality labels start from the idea that a person is either male or female, and that may make them a bit limiting at times. There are more recent labels that are more gender neutral in terms of the person using the label - a lot of them essentially describe (almost) the same thing but just have different names (i.e. polysexual, pansexual, bisexual). Some are more specific about which gender you're attracted to without taking your own gender into account: gynaesexual for being attracted to women, for example, and in your case homosexual for attraction to other NB people. I've also seen a lot of people simply using queer to describe their sexuality, though not everyone agrees on whether it is appropriate since it has been/is used as a slur as well. I used it when I doubted my gender, though, because I liked the convenience of it both describing my gender and my sexuality at the same time.

The thing about labels is that they can be super complicated, very fixed in meaning, or that definitions vary greatly depending on who embraces the label... so it's often a matter of what you feel most comfortable with calling yourself. Once you abandon the biggest labels (lesbian/gay/bi) you also enter a territory where there is an endless supply of labels - which for some people is comforting, but for others just feels more limiting because some of them are so specific that it feels like none of them fit. They also sort of defeat an important purpose of labels, namely recognisability. So it really depends on why/if you want one if they can be useful. I'd say exploring options, and pick a label you feel most comfortable calling yourself - if you want one at all. After all, saying "I'm attracted to women and NB people" is not that different from saying "i'm bisexual for women and NB people" or "I'm gynae- and homosexual". It's all up to you!

 

I think the previous reply is really good and pretty much says it all. I just wanted to add that what a label means can also differ from person to person. So you could still call yourself gay for example, even if maybe your interpretation of that label is slightly different from how a lot of other people see it. You can also go with multiple labels. I go with bi and pan at the moment because I'm not sure which fits me better (and maybe I'll just keep them both forever, who knows?). Generally, when I talk to people who don't know that much about queer issues (like my parents) I'll say that I'm bi because more people know it and can imagine what it might mean, and when I'm talking to other queer people I use both labels. You can play around with different labels and see what feels most comfortable!

 

Hello! Fellow nonbinary here. So something big to remember is that you define the labels, not the other way around. So like, for me, I identify as nonbinary (along with a whole slew of other terms but let's stick with enby for now). In my mind, since I'm kinda not a boy or girl/all genders/no gender/a totally different gender all at the same time, I generally just call myself gay. There's a lot of gatekeeping within the community so no matter what term you pick you're gonna get backlash. Just use what makes you feel good and safe.

Also, sidenote, it might be easier for non-community members to understand if you tell them you're gay. It's a term they know and probably will leave them asking fewer intrusive questions. At least, that's been my experience.

 

I like the term nonbinary.
I think everyone goes through a phase of life in which they are nonbinary even if they have never heard the word or understand exactly what it that is going on in their mind.
It takes a great deal of personal reflection and thought before anyone comes to acceptable terms with their true sexual orientation and gender identity and nonbinary is a perfect word for this time of inner reflection.