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Do you have same-sex Straight friends who you don't feel attracted to?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Hope4love, Jun 13, 2018.

  1. Hope4love

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    this is target mostly to gay/bi people
    i've had a lot of straight male friends who were really good looking and i found them really hot, but at the same time i know they are straight, so i don't imagine doing stuff with them (if you know what i mean).
    so what are your thoughts?? i also did have crushes on straight males..
    ok so to clarify this more... would you NOT have a crush on your straight friend even if you find him attractive/good looking???
    i need answers !!
     
  2. Caraldo

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    Usually I don't, but a few times I have ended up falling in love with straight friends. I see lots of sexy men, but I am more motivated by personality , and a few times I have just ended up wishing we could be partners.
     
  3. Shorthaul

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    I have a couple straight friends, that I will never find any physical or romantic attraction to. Mainly because two of them are just freaking slobs, they just don't make any effort to take care of themselves.

    And a couple who I know wouldn't be my friend at all if they knew I was bi. I can overlook their shortsightedness because they generally nice people.
     
  4. Caraldo

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    Most men I was hot for that I knew were straight it was just lust. I would fantasize while masturbating about them. Most of the guys I have fallen for, including the last guy that I am finally accepting that we will never be more than friends, I didn't find him outstandingly attractive until I got to really know him. While I have masturbated frequently fantasizing about making love with him, I mostly lay alone at night wishing we were lying together, or on the beach walking hand in hand, or sitting together watching TV.

    The majority of men w who are casual friends do nothing for me.
     
    #4 Caraldo, Jun 13, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018
  5. Quantumreality

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    Hey @Caraldo !

    Of course we can't control to whom we find ourselves attracted, but with my straight friends, I focus on the fact that (1) they are straight and (2) I value their friendship far too much to ever do anything romantically/sexually that could possibly endanger or change that friendship.

    So, while affairs of the heart will be what they will be, we CAN control how we consciously act on them.

    Which isn't to say that I've never - as you said - masturbated thinking about some of my straight friends...:relaxed: It is what it is.
     
  6. Jax12

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    Nearly all my friends are straight, and I find a few here and there to be attractive, but because of how well I know them and for how long, I rarely develop anything else other than a “oh, he’s physically attractive, and that’s it”.
     
  7. Aleko

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    Most all my (Guy)friends are straight. I have only ever been attracted to one of them, and that was because he was one of the nicest people I have ever met, and i am still not 100% convinced he isn't bi or gay but whatevs.
     
  8. Kyrielles

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    Basically all of my friends are straight and I don't feel any sort of romantic attraction to any of them.
     
  9. Destin

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    Most of my friends are straight guys - yea there's a bunch I feel no attraction for and they're just cool to hang with, but then there's a few where all I can think is 'wow I have to figure out a way to see this dude nude one day, I need to know what he looks like!' Btw you'd be surprised how flirty a legit straight guy can get with a gay friend when he's feeling playful, man it's such a nice surprise when it happens.
     
    Love4Ever and smurf like this.
  10. Quem

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    I've never been attracted to any of my straight friends (or to any straight male for that matter). I think some people experience attraction more easily than others. :slight_smile:
     
  11. OGS

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    I have quite a few straight male friends. I've never been attracted to any of them. It's obviously a generalization but I just don't find straight men attractive--in my experience they just don't try hard enough. I honestly feel kind of bad for straight women, who I think as a whole deserve better.
     
  12. PatrickUK

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    Are some of my straight friends attractive? Yes. Do I feel attracted to them? No. It's a case of understanding and respecting the boundaries and knowing how to maintain focus on what is valuable and special about your relationship with them.

    We feel close to our friends and we love them lots, but there is a need to keep things in order and maintain perspective. It's when we allow the lines to become blurred that it all starts to go awry.
     
  13. Love4Ever

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    Absolutely! I have a best female friend from childhood and even though I care about her a lot I'm not attracted to her at all. Which is good because her parents are homophobic and very religious and if I had been attracted to her it would have made my life very difficult.
     
  14. smurf

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    I have never had a crush on a straight person. As soon as I know someone is straight then my mind just shuts it off.

    That being said, I have a couple of straight friends who I would do anything imaginable with them if they say the word. Talking with a straight friend about this we came to the conclusion that most people have this thought about friends, but simply don't act on them out of respect to the relationship.

    I'm personally of the opinion that sex with friends is amazing and it won't tarnish the relationship at all if handled correctly.
     
  15. Euler

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    I have a bunch of really attractive same-sex friends both gay and straight but I'm not attracted to most of them by even the least. I don't know why.

    There is this one (presumably straight) guy who I have some special feelings for although I can't exactly say what those feelings are. He is not even that attractive anymore but he seems to feel I'm special. Like he is super open just about everything, constantly wants to hang out and he insists sleeping in the same bed with me - naked (nothing happens obviously). He wants me to hug and cuddle him (outside the bed) which I'm happy to oblige. I'm not even sure am I attracted to him or the special attention I get from him.

    But yeah, I think it's totally possible not to crush on attractive friends.
     
  16. normalwolverine

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    My closest same-sex friend is someone I've been friends with for over 15 years. She is an actress, singer and has even done some modeling, and her looks are very typical of someone in that entertainment-industry world...just the type of person who would be nearly universally considered attractive if she were famous, lots of guys (and women) have been interested in her, etc. We used to spend ridiculous amounts of time together, like from the time I woke up to the time one of us went to sleep. I have never been attracted to her. The insinuation of it would actually be kind of gross to me...she really is like a relative to me.

    For me, looks just aren't enough to have a crush on someone. And even with her, her looks are not the kind of looks I'm attracted to in a woman, even though it's what most people would like. She's as intelligent as what I like in a woman, and intelligence is a huge deal to me--way more important than looks. There are several things about her that I would like in another woman. But there's just something about her where my mind could just never go there.

    Other than that, most of my straight friends have been a turn-off, regardless of how they look, because they are straight. Straight women usually are just different in some key ways from lesbians, and a lot of those key things are turn-offs, to me. There have been one or two times when I've had good-looking straight friends (as an adult) who didn't fit those key things about straight women and I did fall for them...but also, the fact that they didn't fit those things set off my gaydar, to be honest. I never just take a woman's word for it when she says she's straight; I analyze her and come to a conclusion based on my analysis. I'm not sure those straight friends of mine were 100% straight.
     
  17. Love4Ever

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    Just curious, what kind of things about straight women do you find unappealing? To me girls are just, girls, whatever their sexuality.
     
  18. normalwolverine

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    I didn't elaborate on that on purpose, because I felt like I'd be insulting straight women if I did. I have mentioned a couple of those things on EC before, though--for example, just how they talk about men a lot and their behavior with regards to men and stuff like that. But there are other things, too, and that's where I can see it getting kind of insulting or like I'm saying lesbians are "better than straight women."
     
  19. Love4Ever

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    I see. I figured it had something to do with that. But I wasn't sure and didn't want to be missing something.
     
  20. Chip

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    I have plenty of straight friends, including some very attractive ones. Never felt sexually attracted to them. I also have a lot of gay friends that, as well, I don't feel sexual attraction to. For me, friendships and sexual relationships are simply different.