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Just looking for some advice.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Ramona, Jun 13, 2018.

  1. Ramona

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2018
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Eastlansing
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hi folks, I'm new and have a simple but open ended question. (disclaimer I dont know if this question belongs in this category)

    What is your best advice for transitioning or just coming out to your parents ?
    Thanks.
     
  2. i am just me

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2016
    Messages:
    204
    Likes Received:
    83
    Location:
    Earth
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    One important thing for me was to get rid of the thought that I have any obligations in terms of who to come out to first or in which way to come out. Transitioning and coming out is something you do for yourself and you have the right to do it in any way that works best for you and that you feel comfortable doing.

    Regarding parents, I'm going to come out to them next weekend, so I'm afraid I can't give you advise yet. Besides I think that different things work for different people and you'll have to take into account your relationship with your parents, their possible reactions and so on. One thing that helps me at the moment is talking to friends who I am out to and who support me about what I want to do next about my transition and about coming out to my parents and other people.
     
  3. Nike007

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2016
    Messages:
    268
    Likes Received:
    24
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    My advise for transitioning is do what makes you comfortable. Don't try to fit into society's norms if that makes you uncomfortable.

    Also, if you plan on medically transitioning, or have just a few thoughts about it, look into it ASAP. At least where I'm from, there is a wait-list and it takes time. I wasn't sure that I wanted to go on T, but now I do, and now I have to wait about 6 months before I can go on T, and I feel awful. I just want it now. I also am looking into top surgery, and currently to get an appointment to book it will be 10 months from now, and then I have to wait again. It may just be Canada, as when things are free there are extremely long wait-lists, and I don't find it fair, but I can't do anything about it. But join any wait-lists you can, because you can cancel the appointment if you find that you don't want to do it. But getting on once you fully know means that you "wasted" all the time questioning the decision when you could have been using that as a waiting period before your appointment. This is just making my dysphoria worse.

    I haven't come out to parents yet. I am unsure when. I still have a lot of waiting for T, and top surgery, but I want to change my name, and I can get that done now, but won't be officially done for 2 months after that, but I am just waiting until I live on my own again. But I am waiting because I am scared. I just recently told both my parents about my sexuality and that I was hard too.

    I hope some of this helps you.