I don't remember if i put it here but i decided to try to pick a real name. Which is hard to do cause i'm not on T and even if 122lbs at 5ft tall is still within the healthy range its only like 3lbs in the healthy range...so i don't wanna put my photo online. I mean i wanna lose like 22lbs hell i'd be down to lose 30 tbh. 30lbs lost and the promise that i could delete the photo as soon as i felt like it. I like the name Theodore cause its different, i got it from Harry Potter and i associate with it the idea that you can become whatever you want. But i also like the name Matthew too. Its a common enough name, a normal name. I only have youtuber and anime characters associated with it. I decided to go by Theo for pride month and Matt next month online in hopes it helps me decide... But even still i just...deciding now while i feel like i'm 20lbs overweight and not on T so i can't stand to even look at myself in the mirror much less post a reference pic. UGH how is it that pre-T guys post pics and pass fine. I don't think even if i get to like 90 or 100lbs i could. Like maybe as a 12 year old boy at best. But you all know my personality. I mean i hope you do. I might keep Alex or Alexander as my middle name, and i might just make a second favorite choice my middle name. Idk. I just feel like without my name i have only half of an identity. I just wish i could post a reference pic too...cause i desperately want to 'look like' my name too.
A lot of 'looking like' your name is just looking the race associated to the name or looking like someone else who also has the name. Considering how many people are named Matt or Theo that shouldn't be a problem. If you say your name is what it is people will just start associating that name with the face you have. Choosing your name shouldn't be based on what other people like, it has to be about what that name means to YOU and what YOU think about when you hear it. I know thats not the definitive answer you're looking for, but it's what I feel is most helpful in this situation.
I agree with Weird Dog. Every generation has it's own most popular names per year or decade. I think everyone has their own opinion on what name a person "looks like". I also think once you find your name you'll just know. I hope you find the one or something you like.
I like Theo!! I don’t think it’s too plain or boring / normal at all, I personally think it’s more interesting than Matthew and somehow has a softer yet still more spiffy sound to it kinda like James or Alexander.. Also it could work if you kept Alex/Alexander as your middle name too cause then you could just go by either/or, whichever you’re feeling, and it’s pretty normal for people to go by their middle names. I’m in a similar boat as you right now, I have a hard time staying attached to anything for any length of time but I feel like I’m getting closer.
Thanks for all the input, everyone! I'm in a better head space now. I've finally become more solid in my gender identity...i'm a guy, and i'm a guy with some stereotypically feminine enjoyed things or mannerisms and that's totally fine; it doesn't make me any less of a guy and it doesn't mean i'm secretly bisexual or anything like that. I've been trying to repress any sort of femininity or things you'd question a man's sexuality for, but i've finally become okay with it. Its me. And i never imagined admitting it to myself and accepting it would make me feel as innately happy as it has, i honestly can't remember the last time that i was genuinely happy like this for more than a few hours at a time. I think from this, in time i'll find my name too.
