Im a trans guy and wonder constantly about what It would be like to be intimate with someone. I am in high school nd do not plan on losing my virgiity ny time soon, but somethings bother me. Even though I am adamant that I was to be on testosterone and get top surgery, Im still debating about bottom surgery. Mainly because I know their could be complications, and I'm worried about my penis not functioning properly or looking "normal". I know I still have lots of time before I should even start thinking about surgery but I do anyway. I identify as queer and would like to be in a relationship with a guy. Obviously this guy would have to be interested in men. However even though I want hormones and top surgery, I don't know if I would keep my vagina or not. Even though Im trans, I would still like to know what having sex with a vagina would be like. Im worried however that men who are interested in other men wouldn't like that. I know this mostly depends on the person, but Im still curious. Can I still be a true man with a vagina? Would I be able to experiment with a partner with my vagina before I make a decision on bottom surgery?
ken867....Wow, some serious questions there! I'm not trans, but I have a very special place in my heart for Trans folks. I know how hard it was for me to accept that I am gay and it was even harder when I first came out. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a person to accept that they are in the wrong body and then to go through transition. I follow several Trans youtubers and I think that I would help you to watch their videos. Here is a list of some of the FtM guys: Alex Bertie [email protected] Jake Edwards [email protected] (Alex's boyfriend..they are both FtM) Jamie Raines [email protected] Sam Collins [email protected] Jeydon Wale [email protected] I hope some of those will help and there are many more than just those five. Also....being a "true man" has nothing to do with your genitals. They may make you physically male or female, but the true gender of a person is who they perceive they are.It's taken humanity quite a long time to understand that, but we're getting there. So hope you have a good week! .....David
It doesn't matter what your body looks like, brother, you're every ounce a true man. Whether you get surgeries or not. When I was younger I'd think a lot about what it might be like to be intimate with someone as a transguy. I was afraid of being rejected because of the parts of my body which - believe me - I wish I didn't have either. But... I've found that being upfront with your partner and discussing boundaries is always helpful. And I have also found that people can surprise you sometimes. My boyfriend is a cis guy and identifies as gay... yet is in a relationship with me, a pre-op transguy. Being trans does in no way make you unloveable, undateable, or unfuckable. Yes it is more complicated sometimes... but the people who are worth it will see past biology and grow with you along your transition journey.
I'm a cis man married to a trans man. He had a clitoral release surgery with scrotal reshaping from labia, and has kept his vagina. Maybe my situation is less problematic because I'm bisexual, and I don't dislike vaginas at all, but I don't see him as any less of a man because of whatever decisions he makes about his body. I once asked him whether he would want in the future to get rid of it, and said that it was a part that felt good to use and was good at its job. So we have so far had no problems with it. Feel free to use your body parts (within the limits of safety and health) until you find what practices (and what persons) suit you.
I'm a fellow young trans guy, and I totally feel your pain! i get a lot of dysphoria from thinking about having sex (especially with other men), since i'm afraid that my partner wont see me as a man because of my genitals . something that helps me is to remember that even though there's always gonna be some horrible people that you'll be with, there's also going to be some lovely and accepting ones! i would also recommend to experiment with what feels good to you so you can find ways to be with other people without triggering bad feelings.
As the others said, your genitals don't have all that much to do with your gender. Surgery is an option, not a necessity if you're not sure you want it. It doesn't make you less of a man! I know this is a slightly different situation but my girlfriend is trans and has a penis and it's no big deal at all. She's a woman, I love her, that's it. If a potential partner has an issue with your body that's their problem, not yours. It's your body and what you do or don't do with it is up to you!
Thank you so much for responding! I've really been needing to hear a young trans males perspective on this!
I'm also a young trans male, and I agree with what everyone has said - a vagina doesn't make you less of a man! But I also just wanted to add on that what feels good, feels good, and I think that should be appreciated and accepted, you know? So if you find you enjoy the way sex feels with what you have now, doing whatever you want with it, the whole point is to bring you pleasure, and though it's hard I'd try to not think too far past that
