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Scared to meet her parents

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by BlueNeon, Jun 3, 2018.

  1. BlueNeon

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    My girlfriend and I have been together for a couple of months, and everything has been going great. During our date on Friday, she mentioned that her parents have asked her to bring me over for dinner soon. I'm willing to do this, since it seems like something she wants, but I'm honestly somewhere between nervous and terrified at the idea of meeting her parents. I think it's a combination of the fact that I have never really been able to trust older, adult type figures, and the fact that I really don't want to screw this up. I have about a million things going through my head, and I need to find a way to settle down and get through this.

    What is it I'm supposed to do? Am I supposed to bring a small gift of some kind? Is it too weird to hold hands with her while I'm there? What do I talk about, or what should I not bring up? Am I supposed to help with the cooking? I have so many questions and no idea where to even begin.
     
  2. Gravity

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    I think it's totally normal to be nervous about meeting your partner's parents - perhaps it's even more common in LGBT relationships. :slight_smile:

    However, try to focus on the fact that they specifically invited you into their home. Your girlfriend didn't force it to happen, and they aren't giving any stipulations, so my assumption is that they genuinely just want to meet someone who has become important in their daughter's life. Try also to think of it as the beginning of your story with her parents - nothing is going to be set in stone after one night, and the longer the relationship continues, the more likely you'll have regular interaction with these people. So whatever happens at dinner won't be the end of the story.

    As far as the specific questions you're asking:

    I don't think any specific gift or contribution is required, especially if they haven't suggested anything (for example, "why don't you bring dessert?").

    Displays of affection - I would probably stick to what you'd be comfortable with in any generically LGBT-friendly environment. Holding hands is probably fine.

    You could offer to help with the cooking, but if they refuse, just assume they're trying to be good hosts and don't want to put you to work. :slight_smile:

    As far as things to talk about - avoid the big ones, politics and religion, unless they bring it up and you're comfortable joining in. I would imagine they'd be leading the conversation, so I don't think you need to prepare talking points or anything.