At the moment (at least online..I'm closeted irl.) I usually state that I'm okay with any pronouns with a preference for they/them, or I just they/them by itself. I was super happy for a bit not caring about what pronouns people used for me, but now I feel different with what I'm comfortable with. When people use the pronouns from my agab I get slightly uncomfortable. But when people use pronouns for the opposite binary sex (albeit by mistake), it doesn't feel super right either. When they do, though, I think for a brief moment that I should be happy, but I don't. I've never had someone irl use they/them for me so I don't know if that'll sit right either. Is the problem what people precieve my gender to be rather than the pronouns themselves? Is that possible/reasonable?
I'm very young, don't have much experience and I might have a different gender identity from you. However I do sometimes feel uncomfortable when people use female pronouns for me and wish they used male ones. Sometimes I don't mind the feminine ones at all and other times I don't mind either of them. Human pronouns (in english and many other languages) have the purpose to refere to someone's gender. I'm guessing that after you became more aware of your identity, you started to feel the purpose of pronouns more, thouhg I might be wrong.
I agree with the above poster. I never realized how much I hated being called female pronouns until I had somebody use male pronouns when referring to me. That just made me super aware of how I felt about being seen as female. So, it could be that you are becoming more aware of how people reference you. When I went through this, I just would keep track of how I felt and that is what helped me to decide to continue to use masculine pronouns.
I think you have to feel it out before you can know for sure. And really, to get that feel it takes IRL experience. I'd say, if you have anyone that you're out to, it'd be a good idea to ask them to use your preferred pronouns in private... and maybe even to ask them if they'd use non-preferred sometimes just o try them on. If not, then there is a pronoun thread here that you could at least give it a swing. For me, I spent several years thinking that "she" was the right set of pronouns for me. Lately as I find my non-binary self, I find that "they/them" is actually really special feeling. When someone uses they/them when talking about me, it feels like they're being more respectful and considerate than I ever imagined it feeling. It's so awesome and I tend to be like "omg, yer now part of my chosen family... come live with me now" lol... which of course is an overreaction, but the way that feels tells me that "they/them" does feel good to me. I have a gender-euphoria reaction rather than a dysphoria reaction, which might be covering things up, and maybe "she" is better... My point is... the only way I would be able to figure any of that out is once I've lived it a little more. I am still very new on the "they/them" side so I clearly don't have enough data to say for sure that it'll be my long term favorite pronouns. You might need to experiment a bit too in order to be completely sure don't feel bad about changing things around at first. It might be a little awkward but if your friends know what you're doing then good friends will play along as you figure yourself out ♥
