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My life dream is something my family shamed me for.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Robishere, May 29, 2018.

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  1. Robishere

    Robishere
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    Recently, I sort of had an epiphany that really changed my life. I love dancing. Looking back now, I always have. I used to always dance when I was little but my parents and my sisters would laugh at me when I did. They ridiculed me because according to them "dancing is something that little boys don't do, boys do sports. Leave the dancing for the girls." This made me sort of ashamed so I stopped dancing all together for years. They tried to force me to do sports throughout most of my life, it didn't help that all my sisters and cousins were participating in sports either. I absolutely hate sports.

    Point is, that about a year ago or so, two of my friends invited me out to this big rave that they'd been looking forward to. I decided to go along with them and it was like a spiritual experience. There was no specific way to dance, people just did and nobody gave a hoot about the way you danced. I was a little shy at first, but after a while I stopped caring completely and danced like never before. We've been going to those kinds of parties since then and I basically live for them.

    These past few months I've been applying to different universities because I'm switching majors and transferring to a new one but I just don't feel passionate about any of the eligible majors I see on the lists. It's been a real stump in the process because whenever I pick one I think "I mean, I guess I could go with this one," I don't really feel like it's my life goal to pursue those careers like everyone else. That is, until I had that epiphany the other week. As I was dancing the night away with my friends at this rooftop club downtown to where I live, I realized that I really love dancing. It made me feel alive; I'm passionate about it. I realized that dancing is what I want to do with my life. That's why none of the other career choices felt like they fit.

    I feel like I don't know what to do with this information and as if I'll never achieve this life dream of mine even though I just realized it's my dream. I've never taken a single dance class and barely dance at all unless I'm home alone, at one of those big parties, or simply hanging out with my friends and listening to music. Those who have seen me dance have praised me for it and tell me that I'm actually really good and I'm trying my best to believe it but it's really hard for me. This part of me has been basically shunned for my whole life and all of a sudden I realize that it's my life dream to do it. I honestly don't know what to do.

    tl;dr
    Basically, I realized my life dream is to become a dancer but my family has shamed me for doing it all my life.
     
    #1 Robishere, May 29, 2018
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  2. normalwolverine

    normalwolverine
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    Have you thought about schools that have a dance major? I don't think all of them expect you to already have been trained in dance or to have been dancing most of your life.
     
    #2 normalwolverine, May 29, 2018
  3. callistia

    callistia
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    I’m sorry that your family hasn’t supported you doing what you love. Has the topic of you dancing come up recently? Do you think there’s a possibility that they’ve become more open-minded and might realize how passionate you are if you’re given the chance to explain?

    I’m not currently in the process of choosing a university, but I did recently reconsider what career I want in the future. I originally wanted to have a steady, high-paying job that would make my family proud, but I kept realizing how much I would regret not choosing a job based on what I wanted to do. I was scared that my family wouldn’t like the change, but they saw how passionate I was and have been supportive of my “change” of interests. Is there a possibility that your family will be similar?

    Another thing to consider is whether or not you can support yourself. If you can support yourself, it could be a good opportunity to follow your dreams. Regardless, it would be a good idea to (as @normalwolverine said) look into schools with dance majors and continue to dance at parties like you mentioned enjoying earlier. Maybe you could even look at dancing videos for tips or take dancing lessons/classes if you’re looking to improve and/or learn more.

    Best wishes!
     
    #3 callistia, May 29, 2018
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  4. Humbly Me

    Humbly Me
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    Even if you have to take dance as a minor while you get a degree that gets you a secure job you can go back and study dance once you can support yourself and since you love it so much I think you really do have to try and get enough qualifications through whatever means you can find to be able to find work in your dream subject.
     
    #4 Humbly Me, May 30, 2018
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