General News 30 year old evicted from parents home

Yeah it’s called facing the real world. There was a time that you just had to face it. There seems to be some sort of extended adolescence these days. Sometimes you just have to deal with things on your own. It’s possible to learn and adapt without being coddled

 

Problem is, I wouldn't know how to run a house myself. I have asked my dad how much utilities cost, he won't tell me. I ask him if he can tell me a budget breakdown, he won't. I ask how much he earnt when he first had me, and how they handled money then, he just listens to the TV. I've asked my dad to help out with taxes, he says it's done for him.

I like to plan things. I need to know these things before I feel ready. I know how much I may earn when I start my professional job (£18,000) which is equal to (inflation considering) to what he earnt when he first had me so it would be so useful. We don't get taught these things in school or uni, and parents don't like discussing money/budgeting and yet we're supposed to know.

As a single person living in England, is £18,000 enough to rent a flat (one bedroom, kitchen, bathroom), pay utilities (water, electric) and buy essentials (food, petrol/bus, medicine)? And is doing a masters degree (£5,000 a year upfront) able to do in this?

I mean, my parents don't think I'll be permanently moving out till late 30s but I want to do teach first once I graduate (I'll be 22) and you can get a flat with other people on the same programme so I'll do that.


Thanks.

 

18,000 pounds converts to $24,000 US dollars. I don't have experience with prices in England, but I've always heard it's more expensive than here in the United States.... and $24,000 a year in most urban places in the United States is enough but very little. You could afford to rent a one bedroom apartment but after that, taxes, utilities, gas, car expenses and food you'd have like no money at all left. Paying for a masters degree is definitely not possible on $24,000 a year without having to take out loans.

Since you mentioned not knowing what household expenses cost I'll try to show you, but again this is the U.S. and I don't know what England costs.

The taxes on $24,000 of income in my state would be about $4,000 (and the taxes here are significantly lower than other states)

So you'd have $20,000 left.

In my medium sized city in a lowish cost of living area, a one bedroom apartment in a safe place not in the ghetto can be rented for around $700 per month = $8,400 per year

Utilities, Electricity/water/sewage etc. is around $200 per month = $2,400 per year.

Most people here seem to spend around $50 a week on food and household stuff like laundry detergent = $2,600 per year

20,000 - 8,400 - 2,400 - 2,600 = $6,600 left

If you have a car, insurance for a 22 year old driver here is about $3,000 per year (it decreases a lot at 25 though). So you'd have $3,600 left. Gas/petrol seems to be around $1,000 per year for most people in my area so you'd have $2,600 left.

If you don't own the car already all of the rest of the money would be spent on car payments.

If you needed to buy something else like new clothes it would be problematic to find the money. These are all just bare minimum expenses too, nothing fancy at all.

So this long post is basically to say - yes you could probably live on your own, but you would have like no money at all after paying for everything and any extra expenses would be problems (if your area is similar cost to here at least).

 

I think unfortunately what has happened is that we've done too much to ease the transition from adolescence to adulthood. It seems to me like no one actually values independence any more. If you make it to 18 or 20 or even 21 and aren't able to live independently that may or may not be on your parents--if you're 30 and you can't that's on you--period. And as far as the $24k, that's actually twice the US poverty level. In fact at that amount a family of four would barely quality as poverty stricken.

 

Most people in poverty don't live alone though. That's the difference and why my reply was what it was. She said 'run a house myself' which would be living alone in a one bedroom apartment without roommates. If a person is willing to have roommates to greatly decrease rent/utilities and uses government assistance programs like food stamps, then yea it's possible to live that way. Without government assistance and living alone though, I see no way for anyone to live comfortably on $20,000 a year unless they live somewhere extremely rural or extremely ghetto.

 

I don’t remember anyone teaching me any of those things, I just figured it out and did it in my own. My parents were willing to help but I didn’t want it. I dislike being dependent on anyone or owing favors. I think many today are coddled. You can’t shield people from life forever. Life is harsh. Best to face up to that

 

And that's why I used the poverty level for a single person family--and frankly I'm not entirely sure that you're first couple years living on your own should be "comfortable" although you're right that it does seem to be the trend. I think there was something to be said for a crappy garden apartment where you had milk crates for furniture and nothing to eat but ramen because that's all you could afford, but it felt like paradise because it was all yours and there was no one there to tell you what to do with it. I don't feel like people see the value in that any more and I don't quite understand. I think it's a generational thing...

 

Nah people definitely value it. I'm very glad I don't live with my parents but I don't have the money for anything other than a sharehouse - and I'm on a pretty comfortable income for a student.

I think psychologically one of the problems that leads to the never-moving-out syndrome is just that you fear you'll be stuck in a chilly apartment eating ramen forever. The problem isn't just comfort - it's that you can barely even live in a shitty single-room apartment anywhere close to the CBD in places like London, NYC, Sydney even on quite a decent income. Half of it's because you can't even get yourself into housing market in the first place if you're not decently financially secure and that can make it a bit scary even to try.

But just because it's daunting it doesn't mean it shouldn't happen. By the time you're 30 you just need to cop it on the chin, as you pointed out, OGS. Parents with the resources should probably send their kids away for uni (or get them to move out when they begin a job if they don't go to uni) and wean them off parental support fairly quickly. Mine helped with rent, events I didn't have the money for and the occasional bank transfer for groceries until I was able to work part-time, study full time and save for myself. It only took about a year for that adjustment to happen and now I'm financially independent at 20.

Even doing something like turning gifts of money into loans and stopping proactively offering money is a good way for a parent to let their child adjust to managing their own finances and life. I've never had my parents' help with taxes or dealing with bills (to be fair, Australian taxes are remarkably simple compared to the US), because they made the assumption I should be able to give it a go on my own.

 

I'm in my late 20s and in a not too dissimilar situation, with a couple of extenuating circumstances; living in a rural area with no real opportunities for young people (daily travel without a steady income is too expensive) and episodes of full blown hopeless depression (I do my best to override them mentally, but sometimes physically my tank is empty.) I don't want to be in this situation, but the alternatives right now are pretty much become homeless and risk literal starvation/hypothermia or kill myself, both of which I seriously consider. I feel like I'm being forced to watch my life crash and burn right in front of me. In hindsight I wish I had left at 16, at least I would had a fighting chance at a decent future then. I had to learn the hard way that nobody cares and all humans do is serve their own egos. I say "hard way" because although this is obvious and everyone realises it eventually, some realise it with youth on their side. I don't consider myself youthful anymore at least not in spirit and the stress is visibly showing.

 

Please do not kill yourself over that, it would be very stupid. As much as people like to judge they don't know your individual circumstance and being in your late 20s you have so much life ahead of you to live. Make a five year plan of where you envision yourself to be and work towards it instead of giving up like that. At the end of the day a lot of people have it much worse than you. You only fail if you quit.

 

Thanks for the supportive comments. I really do appreciate them.

 

This is an interesting topic because I’ve known quite a few capable people who are nearly 30 or older who live with their parents. I think this can be cultural and it can also depend on where someone lives. I’ve noticed that certain cultures of people are closer to family than others, so living with parents isn’t a big deal. I work full-time in a professional career. I make enough to live alone, and I know how to take care of myself for the most part (my mom did a good job teaching me most of what I need to know), but because I live in an expensive state, I still live with my mom and we share expenses and responsibilities. I’m also saving up for a home. I would say that it’s not uncommon for people in my state to have a few generations of family members who live at home for financial reasons, or because they’re simply close to their family. I’ve had college professors in their 40’s who live with their parents, but it’s a trade off because as their parents age, they have someone to help them at home. It’s one thing to be unable to take care of yourself, to be coddled, or to feel entitled to live with parents, but it’s another thing to live with parents or other family members out of necessity, or out of personal choice. I’ve considered moving out (I’m not quite 30 yet), but seeing as my mom and I basically have each other and no one much else (single mother & only child relationship), it’s kind of nice sharing a living space together regardless of the fact that we can both take care of ourselves. I think that American society in general tends to stigmatize living with parents as a thing of entitlement or lack of success, but I say do what works for you. Everyone reaches success differently, and we all learn about life in different ways. It’s good to push ourselves (and for parents to push their kids so they can learn how to face the world), but things don’t always work out neatly for everyone. And I don’t think anyone should feel any less for not reaching that typical ideal of success and independence right away...Rome wasn’t built in a day.