I'm a seventeen year old girl and I'm graduating from high school in two weeks. My problem is that I'm attracted to girls a lot, and I'm stuck in a stressful situation. I came out as bisexual to my self, and to some close friends about 6 months ago. If i were to be honest, i think i might be lesbian. my family knew before any of my friends knew that i was bisexual(more than a year ago Jan 2017) by invading my tumblr account. she did NOT take it well at all, she said some pretty awful things that scarred me. since then she's been in denial and making nasty mean comments (almost everyday) about the LGBTQ+ community thinking that she'll some how change me. Family is messianic Jewish and the rest of my family is Conservative Christian and they ABSOLUTELY hate anyone who is LGBTQ+. so to the point. This guy from my work that i kissed a year ago asked if he would like to get into a relationship. he's a really great guy but I didn't say yes or no because I'm in love with my friend from my dance class, we flirt and stuff but i cant make the first move because I'm scared that i am actually a lesbian and ill let my family down. I'll be graduating and finishing with dance in June so it wont matter if she really does like me. The thing is is that i know i wont be happy dating a guy. Also my parents are strict so even if i were to wait till college to date girls they would like to know where i am every minute of everyday. by the way i know my family intentions are good but they completely forget that some the things they and do hurt me. I don't necessarily think this is a question but i just needed to get some things off of my chest. If any off you have Any advice or support please do tell.
Hi @hay4girls ! That's a really tough place to be in. It's really hard to take hatred from people we care for, especially family members. I'm younger than you and have less experience than you do, but here's my advice: Whatever you do, stay true to yourself! Your family may disapprove of lesbian relationships, but they should care more about you than about the gender of the people you're attracted to. If they're letting your relationships or romantic interests change how they view and care for you, let them know. They can't and don't have any right to change things about you. If they want to do any changing, it should be about how they think of the LGBT community- and if they don't change their minds, they should put aside those political and religious stances when they're with you. Family should always be supportive. If it helps, you can give them religious 'evidence' as well. God loves and accepts the sinner and the criminal. He loves people like Mary Magdalene, even if she is scorned by others because of her life choices. You're nothing like a criminal- all you're doing is showing love- so there's no reason why God wouldn't love you, too. God's message to man is love. He tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves, so loving someone of the same sex shouldn't be seen any differently than loving someone of the opposite sex. About your co-worker: If you don't have feelings for him, tell him no. He doesn't need to know about your sexuality if you don't want to tell him. There's nothing unordinary about being rejected, and if he gets nosy, just tell him that. Unless you have mutual feelings, there's no reason to date him. What you do about the girl from dance is completely up to you. If you won't see her for much longer, you might decide it's not worth it. But don't let that time be a boundary. Good luck, @hay4girls ! Coming from a younger person, this advice may not be super useful to you, but I hope it helps. We'll always be here to support you.
Thank you so much @kkou and i appreciate you're advice, it's good to hear someone Else's advice and opinions for once. Sadly i don't think my family will ever change, they're quite hard headed and close minded when it comes to their opinions. I agree with you. i think its so funny how the bible/torah tells you to love everyone and to forgive the sins of others, and they do the complete opposite. if you ask me I'd say those kind of people that are all up in the bible but still judge others are hypocrites.
Sorry your family isn't supportive. These situations are never easy. It will be easier in college as you'll have more freedom to be with people you want to be with. It sounds like you've identified as lesbian, so if you're positive then its probably not a good idea to date or go out with your male co-worker as you'll create a false relationship for him. I can understand how it will make your family life better, but it won't make you feel good and will hurt him if you end it and he finds out you were using him. But, if you're not sure if you're bi then it's ok to go out with him and see if you are bi or not.
