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straight girl "overaffectionate"

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by CL1990, May 19, 2018.

  1. CL1990

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    hi...im writing this to get it out of my head more than anything else..i came out a couple of months to this straight girl i find super attractive when she implied i was straight( i didnt tell her i fancied her though...

    the thing is we always hang out in a group (her boyfriend included) and normally she is friendly with me but that is it...(although she nerver mentions her bf to me)

    anyway the other day i saw her for the first time after coming out to her and i was a bit nervous cuz i felt she would keep her distance from me but it was quite the opposite she kept kissing me in the cheek when she doesnt do that to anyone...i want to see it as the possitive that she is super accepting but i keep wanting more...help!?how can i keep my mind at ease?i dont see her more than every couple of months so i want my mind to move on...
     
  2. Mihael

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    That’s strange what she does.
    Maybe she is trying to experiment with you...
     
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  3. CL1990

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    thaank merry for replying...i feel like that aswell but i hate getting my hopes up to be crushed...i just hoped i could find a nice girl that was available but i cant seem to find that either in clubs or meetup gatherings :frowning2:
     
  4. Mihael

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    Those flirty experimenters suck, don't they? They play with the gay person's feelings...
     
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  5. Love4Ever

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    Hi! As a girl who used to be straight I think all the signs point to her being interested. A lot of girls who say they are straight aren't, and I definitely think she is curious. The question is, is she willing to admit she has feelings for you, and are you okay about helping her explore? I realize that it is hard when you feel unsure what her flirting means, and I definitely don't think she should play games with your heart, but I also think people are often too hard on "straight" girls. A lot of these girls aren't straight, but they are trying to figure things out and it takes courage to try new things. A lot of these girls are just scared to take the plunge, and sometimes they just need time and a little patience. Obviously, you should only do what you are comfortable with, and if you think you can't handle dealing with someone who is new to all this than that's perfectly fine, but maybe consider talking to her? I think these kinds of girls should be given a chance. There are way more closeted bi girls out there than people think.
     
    #5 Love4Ever, May 22, 2018
    Last edited: May 22, 2018
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  6. CL1990

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    thank you for taking the time to reply much appreciate it :slight_smile: i dont mind that much about girls that are curious etc but i do feel pressure because i havnt been with a woman either and i feel that these girls would expect me to be experienced which makes me feel lame :frowning2: but i feel good that i have come out to her anyway i couldnt stand someone i find attractive thinking im straight no matter their orientation!!
     
  7. Love4Ever

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    Hey, no problem! Honestly if I were the girl I wouldn't expect you to be experienced at all, it would be absolutely no big deal and in fact I might be relieved because I would feel like there was less pressure on me to be perfect because we'd both be new to it and you wouldn't have any previous expectations to compare it to. We could learn together and that would be fun and exciting.
     
    #7 Love4Ever, May 25, 2018
    Last edited: May 25, 2018
  8. CL1990

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    ohhhhh i never really thought about it like that!!thank you so much its nice to get different perspectives to see things
     
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  9. Love4Ever

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    No prob. I think we are often are own worst critics.
     
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  10. Love4Ever

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    I actually would be afraid that if I ever dated a woman who had been with other women I would be a disappointment to her and that I wouldn't know what to do to please her.
     
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  11. CL1990

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    i have that feeling aswell but i also really feel that in the moment if i was with someone i was really into i would know what to do :slight_smile: wishful thinking perhaps...!
     
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  12. hmmm23968

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    Hey just wanted to say I feel the same way. I just want to find a girl to love and discover myself with and its very very hard to find one and I am a very social person. I just became interested in a girl and found out she has a boyfriend... I can't win
     
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  13. Love4Ever

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    *Hugs*. I am so sorry. I am looking for a special lady too and not sure where to find one. But I don't know any single queer women and I look like your average straight girl. So I don't think a queer girl would notice me anyway. :frowning2:
     
  14. Love4Ever

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    I think it's so sad, and slightly ironic we are all here online so sad and alone for the same reason! If only we were able to just all meet up in real life, all our problems might be solved.
     
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  15. hmmm23968

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    Ah! I also look like your average straight girl... its horrible..girls make me so nervous - if I don't meet someone organically its really hard for me to get to a point where I tell a girl I'm into her - I just posted about the girl I like who I found out has a boyfriend today and I would love your thoughts on it.. Im not sure out to link you there.. its under general advice I believe
     
  16. Love4Ever

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    Sure thing I'lll check it out! And if you want to talk one on one then message me. I'd be happy to respond!
     
  17. alwaysforever

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    There is something important that a lot of straight people don't really fully understand because they have not had to think about it a lot, and that is how to go about figuring out answers if they are questioning their sexuality. Flirting with someone can be taken the wrong way. As a lesbian I find people who identify one way and treat me another emotionally painful, since I know the heartbreak it can cause. As such, I always advise people who flirt with me to make it clear that they are in fact questioning and the behavior has some meaning if they are going to push boundaries with me personally. It only takes one time getting your heart broken to become really cautious with situations like these.
     
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  18. Maui

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    Hi, I’m not sure whether I’m gate crashing this post but I’ve just found myself in a similar situation. I’ve been with my husband for 14 yrs but met a woman back in December, also married & over the last few months we’ve become closer & closer, had sex once but also very affectionate to each other, flirty txt’s etc. Then suddenly yesterday she’s blown me out. Totally heart broken & confused as to how she’s been able to switch her feelings off like that! While I’m really struggling to forget everything we’ve done & things she’s said. Can she really switch everything off like that or did she never really feel the same as me, I was just her bit of fun
     
  19. CL1990

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    hey no worries about gate crashing i like my posts to be read and commented :slight_smile: i feel that it might be that she just got scared of her feelings and might be too mich for her to handle if you are both married? maybe if you open a new post youll get better advise but i send strength your way:slight_smile: !!
     
  20. Hillary B

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    As a trans woman I can relate and only hope that such affection bears fruit. And if there has been a blip in affections then I wish you luck that these matters will be resolved. I'm sorry I can't be more use but I guess I am strongly going through my own issues at the moment! Anyway good luck and to the other poster here.