Do any of you closeted guys ever feel burdened being closeted?

Yes! I feel the same way. I don’t feel sad or angry but I feel weighed down and like I’m in a holding bay. I’m looking at coming out to a friend soon. I don’t know if I’m bi or lesbian but I feel that maybe just being honest with another human might make me feel lighter. Do you have any LGBTQ+ friends you could talk to?

feel

 

I am somewhat in the same boat as you. I’m still in the closet to my family but I am looking forward to college where I may come out to some people.

 

Yes, I do. I would love to not be closeted. I would have loved to been able to tell my parents the reason I wanted to go to a film being shown at my school was because it was an LGB film and was the inauguration of the GSA there. I would love to be able to watch my gay themed shows on netflix and not worry about them showing up in the que or as recently watched and they think it odd. I would love to be able to leave my internet browser up with this forum or LGB youtube channels I subscribe to without being questioned. I would love to be able to say I think a gorgeous girl on youtube is hot. I would love to be able to buy gay literature without having to buy it and then smuggle it into my room before they see. I would love to be able to have obviously gay songs on my playlist on iTunes, play them within earshot of my parents, and not have them question why I like those songs. So yes, even though I have accepting parents I do hide quite a bit from them and I would love to not have to.

 

Yes. That is why o often post on this site. I would desperately love to tell someone but I just can’t. It does weigh on me

 

I have only told one person in real life, my sister, who I trust implicitly, and who I knew wouldn't care or make a big deal of it. I have also told a girl I met on the internet who has become a close friend. Other than that nada. I have another close in real life friend who was my best friend from childhood, but her family are religious nut cases and she would probably have to not speak to me again if I told her.

 

You could try telling a stranger you'll never see again? I ended up telling a homeless guy I never met before and it felt good. He asked if I had a girlfriend while we were talking, so it led kind of naturally into that topic.

 

When I was growing up people generally didn’t come out. I think that’s what is making it harder for me

 

That may be helpful. I’ll keep it in mind have to come up organically though. I don’t want to just blurt it out at the deli counter

 

Good point. But it's possible sometimes steer a conversation in a direction were it will seem organic.

I remember doing that once. I was at a church, having a conversation with a couple of people. I can't remember how I did it--this was a few years ago--but I did direct that conversation to a point where I could say something like: "LGBT issues matter to me to because I'm gay" or some such thing. It seemed to go OK. (This church was known to have no problems with LGBT people.)

I did this because I was frankly curious about one person in the group, and I think I thought there was a chance he was gay. So by making the first move, I opened the door for him to make a move. But, as it turned out, I later learned he's apparently straight. So much for my hope of getting to know one gay person in the real world...

 

It’s definitely an intriguing idea. If the opportunity comes up I will attempt it. Somehow just telling someone, even a stranger would feel liberating

 

As for the original question, I guess sometimes I've felt burdened. But that's not much of an issue now.

I guess right now I see no real chance of having a relationship. Certainly not now, and, I (perhaps pessimistically think) not ever. And I'm not even sure if I even care if I never have a relationship. So part of me just has come to a resigned feeling of: why tell the world whom I might hypothetically have sex with in the highly event that I were to ever have sex?

 

Yes I know exactly how you feel, its terrifying experience. I came out to the closet people and my family and that was hard and I was pretty sure that they wouldn't care and I was right. But coming out to my friends is another step that I have not been able to get to just yet, its really hard me as well.

 

I am married and still in the closet