Now I'm not the one who can use arguments in the best way during a conversation, but lets say that I want to explain this to someone, who has some not so nice comments about LGBT people, not like a hatred or blind intolerance because of religious reasons, but rather an intolerant view in general, that for example it is "weird", marriage is not right for us and giving us the option to adopt kids is not a good idea, etc etc. Any ideas for solid arguments and how to use them?
BadassFrost.... Are you out to this person? If you are it will be a lot easier than otherwise. You could just say that those kind of comments actually do hurt, not just you but a lot of very good people. People who didn't chose to be LGBT and have been treated very poorly by society. OK....if you are not out to them then it gets more difficult. You could try the same approach as above, but phrase it as something that someone you knew in college, at a different job, in a place you used to live, etc. said. That what they said had a real impact on you and you've tried since then to be more understanding...that you don't have to be LGBT to treat them like everybody else. They are people just like we are. Hope that helps! .....David
Hmmm. I always struggle with this because I can't imagine thinking less of someone because of their orientation. I would just remind them that these people are people like anyone else and that everyone should be treated with kindness.
Okay thanks for your responses! Well I'm not out to that person, we are not even close, but due to some circumstances we meet each other pretty often. For a long time I thought he was okay with LGBT people but recently I heard him saying these not so nice comments. It was kind of weird for me because I've never directly encountered a person with such an anti-LGBT comments before, so I had no idea what to say, so I just stayed silent. But listening to it was still really irritating. Next time if he'll say something negative again, I may use your advice.
Im not out to others. I am BI. But i guess you can only talk to the other LGBT member that being gay is OK. But some people who are religious or close minded, its hard to talk/argue with them. If they will not accept you, just tell them "who are you to judge me. Mind your own business" . Then conversation finish.
I've had some experience in dealing with people like this and what I have learnt is that for them to listen to you, you need to listen to them. Although you may not understand their point of view if they feel like they are being listened too it makes them feel as though they need to listen to you (this doesn't go for everyone though). If you state what you think about it without getting angry or bringing any emotion into it you might come to a mutual point. There is no point in getting frustrated with someone who does not have the same views as you and there is no way to change them if they are stuck in their views. Hope this helped
Just tell them that you are still the same person you were before, and that your sexuality is only a small piece of what you are and that you didn't choose to be this way, it's just how you were born, because those statements are true. Sexual orientation is NOT a choice. People can think your behavior is weird and disgusting and still love you for who you are. If this piece of advice that I'm giving and the advice that the people are giving above don't work, then there's really not much you can do. Some people just aren't going to accept you, and that's okay.
Intolerance is difficult and often the result of a closed mind. It is difficult to argue, no matter how eloquently, with a closed mind since your explanations will have little luck making it through the gate. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try, just be prepared to recognize the signs that you cannot penetrate that gate. Don't allow yourself to get caught up in the toxicity that can, not always, but can come from such people. I am not saying this as a gay person. In fact, I am straight. I'm not saying this as the mother of a gay person. My son only came out to me a little over a year ago. I have held my beliefs that all are equal longer than I have been a mother. I'm not even saying this as someone who is religious, which I am. Not the religious type who believes what people teach, but what God teaches, to love one another and take care of each other. I am saying this as a not-so-young person who has years of experience arguing for what I believe to be right with people who believe differently. If you can open the door a little and get through, even just a little, it is worth it. But, if that gate is closed and triple bolted, you can find yourself going down a rabbit hole and getting angrier as you go while still not getting even the slightest of your points across. I guess what I am saying is choose your battles. Ignore, though not always easy, toxic people who can bring you down. Feel sorry for them as they have their own issues to deal with and take peace in knowing they cannot affect you negatively.
Thanks for responses I really appreciate them. I agree that sometimes it's probably not worth it to try to change someone's mind. But what might be hard for me is to know when exactly it is worth it and when not. I guess I'll have to find out. When it comes to this person I talked about, if he says something bad about LGBT people again, I'll try to follow your advice and try to calmly change his mind. If it won't work, I'll just leave it be and ignore him. We're not friends, acquaintances at best, maybe, and in a few months a time will come when I won't have to meet him that often, maybe not at all. But it's always good to be ready for any case in the future, because I'm pretty sure he is not the last person I have to deal with...
And what is wrong with being gay in their opinion? Why is it "weird"? So if someone is different from majority, it makes them a worse person in their opinion? That's a very stupid opinion.
