Background: I've known I like girls since 8th grade. Actually, looking back I remember being in like 6th grade and dreaming I was dating a girl from 9th grade and when I woke up was like "nice! someone older!" and only later in the day I thought "mmm... it was a girl" and never thought much about it. Between 5th and 7th grade I was in a kind of relationship with a boy (I know we were young and was not as serious as adults, but still, I really did like him!) In 8th grade I started watching lesbian couples on youtube and realised I wanted "something like that" and I remembered the dream from 6th grade and like liking being close with my girl friends... Then I had a boyfriend in 8th-9th grade but I never had feelings for him In 9th grade I would do this thing with my best friend where we would do like our top 10 of girls from tv and movies and things like that Actually, in 10th grade she came out to me (I was totally supportive and I kind of knew already) and I wanted to say something about my doubts but just didn't have the guts. I lost my virginity last year to a guy I don't know like desperate to feel something Now: I'm 20 now in the 3rd year of university! My best friend is out and I wish I was too. I'm kind of interested in a guy who as similar interests to mine, but like I don't like him I'm just vaguely interested (if that makes sense) and I don't know if it true interest or just me wanting to be interested in a guy. And then there's this girl... she's a year older than me from my university and I met her through a mutual friend. I keep stalking her social medias accounts and the other day I had a dinner in my house and invited that mutual friend. because she doesn't know a lot of people in the dinner I told her she could bring her friends and was hoping she would come! I don't know if the is interested in girls but she does have that "vibe" but also she doesn't know about me and I don't know if I give any signals and stuff... Less than a week ago I was ate a university party and a girl came by and asked who would make out with her in front of the bar for 5 shots. I wasn't with any friends so I went for it! Like it was a stupid drunk make out but still the first girl I kissed and amazing (not like amazing in feelings, but amazing "I did it!") When someones asks about boyfriends I just say I don't want, it would be to much work Problems: I have a twin sister (she looks nothing like me) and we have the same group of friends I've thought about coming out to my best friend but because my sister is in our group I just don't have the guts - like family is closer and I don't want to disappoint her. yes, she accepts my. best friend but I just think it is different because I'm her sister! The other day me and my best friend went for coffee and I was like "I'm gonna talk to her! is a good opportunity!" but I just couldn't do it Yes, I still have doubts about my sexuality She doesn't remember the top 10 I think. Like I played football (soccer), my favourite sport is baseball, I play videogames, I hate pink, don't wear skirts or dresses.... I know it's like a stereotype and cliche! but someone should know right? like my close friends might know already? or have a clue maybe? my best friend asked me to watch carmilla because she had no one to talk about the series with and I said I would watch it (I already had). Do you think she knows? is waiting for me to talk with her? A few years ago my ex-boyfriend asked like "do you like girls" and I said "why you say that" and he didn't answer, if he continued the conversation I might have said something. and then an ex-girlfriend of my bestfriend asked "do you think you could eventually like a girl" and said "maybe... who knows". well, I knew, but wasn't ready to continue the conversation Now, I just wish someone would ask me! I don't have the courage to start a conversation, but I could continue one!
herej.....Hello and welcome to empty closets! I don't know if this will help...but I'll give it a shot..."So, hey do you think you might like girls?" (now you can continue the conversation...I'll listen and write back! ) .....David
Hi herej! Coming out can be scary for many reasons. I also have a twin (a brother, not a sister), and it was really hard for me to come out to him as well. Like you, I also had a "boyfriend" in late elementary and early middle school. We had strong feelings for each other, but that was a long time ago, and I haven't liked any boys since then. My twin brother is pretty different from most of the boys our age, and he's been teased a lot for "being gay" when he really isn't, so he was really surprised about my sexuality. Apart from the initial surprise, though, he was really supportive. Being a twin can be hard at times because of the responsibilities that comes with it (and the sibling fights), but one thing I love about having a twin is that we always have each other's backs. If you and your sister are close and if you trust each other, I'm sure that she'll support you. Even if she doesn't love your sexuality, I'm sure she loves you more than anything. Whether she accepts it quickly or over time, you can count on her to love you just as much as she always has. I hope this helps! From one twin to another, good luck!!
It’s all very scary and stressful and confusing. I completely understand though I’m more than twice your age. I often wish someone would just figure it out and ask me as well
