My mother-in-law could very well have lung cancer. They have found a lump on her lung. We will find out on Monday what it is. If it is cancer, I am hoping that they have caught it early enough to be able to do more about it... but she is very bad at going to the doctors and so its probably more likely that it will be in its later stages. How do be helpful and supportive to my mother-in-law, father-in-law, brothers-in-law, my nephew and nieces? What do I say when I find out? Its hard to know what to say to her... "I am so sorry"?... I dont know. They live far away from us but I have told my partner that we can go up and see them whenever he wants. All other committments can go out the window as far as I can concerned; Its up to him.
I am so sorry. This is a very difficult time. Be there for your partner and his family. My brother lived out of state when my father was dying and he flew home every weekend. You're right, all other commitments can go out the window. Stay strong and just be there. I wish your mother-in-law, your partner, his family and you blessings in this difficult time.
Honestly, it's hard to find the right words in these circumstances. I think the best thing is to listen and respond to what you are hearing and just be a source of strength and reliability.
As hard as it is, as Patrick mentioned, the best response would be to let them know that you are there for them, and be the rock that they can lean upon. Your partner is of course also going to need support, and I think letting him know that you are willing to travel with him to visit your in-laws will already help to make a difference. Be there for him when he needs to talk or needs a shoulder to lean on.