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Why do straight girls seem to be more tolerant of LGBT people than straight men?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by anonmember, May 12, 2018.

  1. anonmember

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    I have noticed this and I wonder how this can be.
     
  2. Hidden One

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    Bro, I wish I knew. I will say this though. I only read part of this and finished it in my head, with a laugh, saying "so attractive?" Being a closeted trans guy everyone thinks I'm gay.

    ~Oliver
     
  3. mclyric

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    it might be linked to how masculinity is pushed so hard onto straight men? i know lots of straight women who are more secure in their own sexualities and identities than straight men are, so maybe those two things are correlated! regardless, it's kind of shitty that it's so true about straight men. hopefully one day all straight people will be equally as tolerant of the LGBT community! :slight_smile:
     
  4. Blast

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    Toxic masculinity.
     
  5. Miaplacidus

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    This.

    Straight men are really afraid of being seen as gay by association, as absurd as that sounds, but that's very real, especially in societies permeated by machismo as the one I live in.
     
  6. Love4Ever

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    This is a very keen observation. I think it is because women relate better, even straight ones, because they know what it is like to be held back, oppressed, held to rigid stereotypes that they don't fit, treated like second class citizens, etc. Essentially, women understand what it is like to NOT be privileged the way straight, white, guys are, because they're women. Women understand, that just like many years ago when feminist groups joined with abolition groups that freedom for one minority brings freedom for all. Plus, straight guys tie their sexuality to their masculinity. This masculinity is a very fragile thing and for some straight guys being thought of as gay, even if you aren't and just support it, is one of the worst things that could happen.
     
  7. Cas girl

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    Girls have lot of love and are not afraid to show it.
    They are biologically wired to be empathetic and understanding.
    And they are not care about the “alpha stereotypical facade” of the society like men do.
    That’s my reasoning.
     
  8. Mihael

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    Women tend to have more empathy.
     
  9. Biguy45

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    Just afraid of because no thought of as gay
     
  10. DirectionNorth

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    Depends on the woman. Last female primary care doctor i had became homophobic after i told her and spent the rest of the session spewing "facts" about gays, there aren't lesbians, they're just bi or confused, most gays become straight later on, etc. Then told her receptionist, i heard her quietly say something and heard the word lesbian and the receptionist started treating me differently. Granted they were older women(especially the receptionist.) And another instance, while it doesn't have to do with my sexuality, three female nurses sexually abused me and got off on it. Point being, there are women out there who can be really bad and get off on oppressing other women, i guess a Tanya Harding mentality.

    Although more to the point of the thread, it might be location as well, or age of the women, that determine whether they're more or less understanding to it. As well as the fact i'm careful about who i'm out to.
     
  11. anonmember

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    Some girls can be homophobic, you’re absolutely right. I just think there seems to be more girls that are accepting of it than guys.
     
  12. MattF1

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    I guarantee it's all about how certain people act. I'm a "masculine" guy and most of my mates I came out to were really surprised and luckily don't treat me any differently. But I honestly have to say, if I were a fem/camp guy I doubt they would have hung out with me in the first place. Some have said that they appreciate me because I show that not every gay guy is "prancing about" and they're glad it hasn't become my personality. Seems like guys want guys to act like guys. I've never in my life seen a camp guy hanging out with just straight men. Then again, I don't have any close friends that are camp. I don't think its homophobia, I think its nature - we all want to be friends with people we identify with.

    Really I have sympathy for both sides of this - people shouldn't have to act a certain way to please anyone, yet I do agree that most gay people I've met base their entire personality around their sexuality.
    I hope this hasn't offended anyone, I'm just speaking from experience and opinion, not that I'm any good at speaking :sweat_smile:
     
  13. wannahavechange

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    For me I've noticed it's the other way around. Most of my straight girlfriends ask me annoying questions like have you ever say thought about being with a girl and the good ole how did you know you were gay even before you had sex. One of my co workers who nobody liked , would compliment from time to time, but then if I wasn't moving fast at work or moving heavy ass carts out of my way ( I weigh like 120 lbs) she would say come on move those like a man... Like bish I am a man how bout you get your heavy big back self over here and move it . She then went on to tell me that I just need to find the right women to give me head, because I want a family one of these days and I'm confused. A week later I told that abominable snowman off and got fired. Oh well. I find straight men don't really care as long as you're just upfront about your sexuality ,they respect you more for it. I mean, come on, only a man who's secure that he's straight will not make fun of you because it has nothing to do with him, he couldn't possibly care less what you do in bed. The closeted ashamed ones will act like this though. Asking you why you're gay, why'd you choose to be, or insulting you. I find the men that go out of their way to make your sexuality a top priority when you barely know them or did anything to disrespect them are the ones who are gay themselves.
     
  14. MattF1

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    I feel like neither genders can speak for each other in situations like this. I understand women have had to suffer a lot but "straight" men constantly have to prove themselves to look "alpha" or whatever. I remember secondary school when I wasn't out to anyone I had to act so hard when talking about girls and stuff because I was so afraid of losing reputation. Saddest part is, every straight guy goes through times where they don't want to act like that and just cry over his mate's shoulder, but because everyone feels they have to act this way no one will open up. The first one to open up is called a pussy, probably by someone who wants to look as alpha as possible yet desperately wants to do the same.

    Sure, we may have "privilege" in the world of business and whatever but no gender, race, sexuality or anything can have stronger emotions than any other. It's just how much you have to hide them.
     
  15. HM03

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    Fragile masculinity cough cough
     
  16. SubZero

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    Because the men are afraid they might “catch the gay” lol

    But in all seriousness... women tend to have more empathy and are more compassionate. They are not afraid to express themselves and connect with others in an emotional way.
    Men just aren’t that way (some but not all).
     
  17. Tightrope

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    All great and funny answers.

    Society seems to allow girls the opportunity to express a wider range of feelings, so they also understand or tolerate a wider range of feelings and types of expression.

    I don't know how straight girls and women relate to L women very well because I haven't seen enough interactions between them but they seem to relate fairly well to G / B guys. The big exception might be girls and women who are really high on the pecking order, are really into hunting down significant others, and I've even heard them put down G / B guys under their breath.

    Guys still can't show a wide range of feelings. They might be afraid of catching the gay, are mystified by some same sex attraction they are capable of, are messed up by a same sex sexual experience along the way, or have some other conditioned values that are almost hard wired. We still hear how in professional sports some players have issues with having G / B guys on the team and they seem to specifically mention the locker room. I've seen some progress but not a lot.
     
  18. ShiftyExtreme

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    I think they're afraid other people will think they're gay as well.
    And usually that's a bad thing apparently.
     
  19. QueerTransEnby

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    Have you considered reporting these individuals who did this to you? I am not sure if you are a man or woman, but it doesn't make a difference either way. Sexual assault is serious. I hope you will get the mental care that is needed after such trauma.
     
  20. DirectionNorth

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    I have actually, but it's been tough to get myself to, though. I've been wanting to for years, but now i'm scared i won't be taken as seriously because they might think i'm coming forward to piggy-back the MeToo movement. Even though that wouldn't be the case. And, it's been surprisingly difficult to find a therapist who can help! I have no clue why; i even ask them upfront when getting an appointment, but they don't know what to do when i tell them in person. The best help i've gotten was her admitting she didn't know how to help and the worst i've gotten was ignorant junk that hurts way more than helps.

    So, it's been tough and sucks, but i've tried around 6 therapists.

    I appreciate your reply though, thank you