Hello Everyone, I joined today. Literally very the first step I have taken to make my feelings known to a sole, on some level. As I said in my profile bio, I feel hopeful but very lost. I don't have anyone in my life right now to talk to about this. I am finally divorced. I have grown kids who are all off on their own adventures. I feel like I am wondering around in a dark room, looking for a light switch. I don't know where to go from here. Anyone feel like me?
Welcome I’m sort of a newbie here myself. Middle age married male that discovered later in life I like both men and women. This site has been a great source of therapy and support.
Happy to hear that you are happy. Look it this way. You get way more new experiences. Sounds like fun to me.
Welcome! This journey is new for me too. I just came out to my husband of 20 years this week. I've been going to therapy for about a month, which has been helpful, and I have a couple supportive friends who know what's going on. Having some in real life friends who will support you might help. I'm feeling lost this week too. I have a rather painful crush on a woman I can't have and I'm not sure how to move on from it. I'm in limbo.
Wow! This is a big week for you. Congratulations on coming out to your husband of 20 years. I admire you! I am so happy to hear that you have supportive real life friends. I don't currently have a crush on anyone, although I did have a little moment last week seeing a woman I was very instantly attracted to. I had such butterflies. Tell me more about your crush.
Welcome to EC! You are not alone in feeling the way you do. Coming to terms with the realization that you never were attracted to men can be a long process, an unraveling of our thoughts, feelings, and actions over the many decades of your life. You grew up in a similar time period to me (I was born in 1968), and today's teenagers are receiving a much different message than we received. It's no wonder then, just as I did, you did what you thought was expected of you - find a man, marry him, have children, and make a wonderful life for yourself. It's what I did too. The good news is that you aren't dead yet. You have many years left in your life to re-invent yourself and find that person you were so many years ago. You say you feel like you are wandering around in a dark room, looking for a light switch. I would say it's time to get out of that room, and into the sunlight. Forget the light switch. In my opinion, the best way for you to proceed is to get out, make new friends, join LGBT groups, visit your local LGBT center and find groups that fit you and what you like to do. Go on dates, laugh, have fun, figure yourself out. This is 2018, and it's time for us late-in-lifers to forge new paths and make the rest of your life what YOU want it to be. Take care.
Instant attraction sounds fun. Any potential there, or was it just in passing? My crush is someone I met through an online support group years ago, but we just met in person and became close last year. We became good friends fairly quickly and I can't stop thinking about her in non-friend ways. She doesn't reciprocate my feelings (my being married is a major hindrance) and I need to work on moving past her, but I'm not good at getting over people. It's both thrilling to feel this way about someone (a woman!) and it's also very painful and frustrating because I can't act on my desires.
Hi UndrTheOcn, nice to meet you. You will find quite a few of us later lifers on here...some who knew they were gay from young but conformed to the straight social agenda, some who kind of knew they weren't straight but we're not sure what they were, and some who were sure they were straight for so long, did the marriage and kids thing and then realised one day that they were interested in their own sex. We are around to chat and give friendly advice to each other and share stories, etc. So I hope you enjoy coming here regularly x
Hi. Its your time to shine. Its your time to start new life. Dont feel hopeless. Life must go on. Start to meet/mingle new friends. Start to join any event or participate some group. I hope you can find new love also.
UndrTheOcn..... "I don't know where to go from here. Anyone feel like me?" Oh yes....there are a lot of us who either do feel that way or have felt that way! Believe me you are not alone! as @I'm gay said, now is the time to find some LGBTQ groups in your area, get involved in service groups that work with LBGTQ youth, etc. Put yourself out there, perhaps slowly at first...but put on your "happy" clothes and get involved with your LGBTQ family. You'll find a lot of folks like your self...and you might find you're "interested" in some of them! .....David
HI @UndrTheOcn , Yeah I feel like you in that I haven't found anyone in-person who I can really open up to. But it's been a HUGE help to me to be bluntly honest here. There are a lot of amazing, supportive people here. So browse the thread's and start your own. BTW, the light switch is on the wall, to your left ... a little further ... now up! Wishing you love and light - =Sevn
