Gay guys how could you have sex with women?

In my case once I acknowledged by homosexuality it became more and more difficult. I not only didn’t want the physical aspect of sex but the emotional aspects as well. Within a short period of time I was no longer capable of an erection with a female, and lost all interest in women. It has been over a year now, I don’t look or think about women at all. The idea of engaging in sex with a woman now just seems gross, disgusting and wrong.

 

Pretty much the same reply as Quebec except without the children. Maybe still with some of the guilt and hate. There was a time that you just were not able to be yourself, esp in certain parts of our country.

 

I always had some attraction to women. It wasn't like other guys had to them though. I loved my wife, and I enjoyed the closeness of being with her. I often had to fantasize about men to climax though. And eventually I got to the point where I just can't do it . I have gotten to the point where heterosexual intercourse grosses me out.

 

Like Quebec, this was my reply to the same thread he posted in:

During the time we dated and early in our marriage, sex with her was pretty good. Of course it's much easier for that to happen for a gay man when I was young and easily turned on. Given that I desperately didn't want to be gay, and then convinced myself that I could "choose" to be straight, the fact that sex with her was enjoyable, if infrequent, made it all that much easier to believe that I was straight. As time went on, and my homosexual desires continued, or even increased, it became increasingly difficult to have sex with my wife. After our second child, our sex life practically stopped entirely. There were occasional attempts, some successful but most not successful. Eventually I could no longer maintain an erection during sex, or often not even achieve an erection. By that point, I had stopped trying. After coming out, I learned she thought I was no longer attracted to her and she internalized my lack of desire as her not being pretty enough, thin enough, young enough, etc. etc. I was unaware that she internalized these issues as we never talked about it. In the end, we were basically roommates with children. My coming out was a revelation to her and she could then see what the real issue was during those years.

 

Caraldo, I feel as you now the idea of heterosexual sexuality just seem so disgusting and totally gross. Now when I think back I don't know how I did it for so many years. As I transitioned from hetero to bi to gay I started to lose the ability to engage in intercourse with my then GF. It progressed quickly to being unable to even get an erection with her. I had no such problem with the man I started seeing. I can honestly say my sex life as a gay man is far superior to anything I ever experienced as a hetero male. At first I was somewhat grossed out by gay sex but quickly overcame that initial reaction and find every aspect of gay sexuality fulfilling on every level. I like to say if more guys tried it,the ranks of gay men would grow rapidly. As it is at LGBT center I go to more and more men are joining the coming out help groups. One of counsellors told me it is largely later in lifers finally finding their way to their real sexuality. Time will certainly tell. I am one later in lifer who will unequivocally say it was worth all the complications and tribulations to finally embrace the gay man that was always there just dying to see the light.

 

@Contented I never really in my mind ever considered myself heterosexual, and I never could really enjoy hetero sex. I just couldn't handle being a queer. I do want to state that besides the fact that my early gay experiences were mostly under horrible circumstances, and unwillingness on my part to confront homophobia, another reason I was willing to dive into a hetero relationship is that I love women. I want to be buds with them though. Sex has never been my attraction to females. I don't find the idea of hetero sex disgusting , I find the idea of ME being with women gross. It just isn't the way I swing and I j ytst couldn't fake it anymore.

 

Sexuality is fluid and ambiguous. Nothing is absolute. Sexual fantasy is on a continuum. Over time, despite love for my wife, my sexual interest waned and my fantasies and desires became more prominently homosexual. Despite this, I love women and have always been closer to women in my life than men. I hope everyone is as confused as I am

 

Yikes! That hit home. I'm still married to my wife, trying to make it work. We hardly ever have sex, and it's gone really hard on her self-esteem, which wasn't that good to begin with.

 

I enjoyed the physical sensations of vaginal sex. It's literally designed by nature to make penises feel good. So when I was fighting off the part of myself that liked guys, it was very easy to be like "well the sexual sensations are really enjoyable with women so there's proof." Even though when I wasn't with her I was almost always fantasizing about guys, watching porn of guys, etc.

Now that I realize I'm gay, I could probably still have sex with a woman, but it would be a purely physical thing. Unless it's Jennifer Lawrence.

 

Similar posting to how I feel. I'm still attracted to women. I notice them in everyday life, but hardly ever men. And I flirt with women. If they flirt back, I do it some more, and I get aroused. I don't really flirt with men, or if I do, then it is unconsciously. And flirting with women turns me on and makes me want to have sex with them.
But here's the thing. Recently, I've not actively thought about women. I do not fantasise about women (except the odd occasion where I'm "out there" and imagine a cuckold situation with my wife). I fantasise about men in a sexual way. And, having been brave enough to do a lot of questioning and experimenting over the years, I've recently come to really enjoy it, and also be able to develop emotions towards guys.
I guess I'm also a little kinky, adventurous, and get bored with the same predictable sexual diet offered by my wife, which she has steadfastly refused to change or open up about, and the sex has dwindled. That, combined with the mess that is always caused by having a mistress who then tries to hijack your life and ruin everything, means that relationship-wise I've kind of gone off women a bit.

 

Yup.. Me too since Feb 17. But I want to kiss a man. So much it hurts.

 

Mostly true in my experiences, despite never having had a wife. I have had several women friends and a few LTR and FWB situations with women, but I've never been closer to the them than to men. I've always gotten along with men better and had more men friends.

Again, a lot of this makes sense to me. Vaginal sex arouses me while the alternative does not. Add breasts while we're at it. The energy and lack of energy in physical sessions I've experienced with women has been disappointing at times. However, certain types of guys arouse me and have for a long time. The rigor - not necessarily negative - in sex with men can be higher and the energy level is higher. That's why when women learn that their husband or BF has a parallel life with guys there is often the lament "how can I compete with a man?" I don't know what this means, but I've heard it. We've heard it. I'm not trying to be shallow when referring to men, either, but it's about the type.

 

David, that sounds like a dream come true. It really warmed my heart to read of the kindness those men showed you that night.
=Sevn

 

Me too Sevn. Me too.
Wasn't that a nice thing to hear?

 

That's awesome. I can totally see that happening in several of the gay bars that we frequent. I know on my first trip to a gay bar--which was after a Pride Parade, when word got out that I'd never been to the parade before (or even a gay bar before) I seriously met quite possibly hundreds of guys that night--and I was 21, which in the grand scheme of things is much less interesting than your story, still everyone was so supportive.

 

A lot of alcohol and a really horny lady. Last time I had sex with a woman, she got me drunk on wine and then basically raped me.

 

Bingo.