I am puzzled as someone who I've felt strongly for, has used the word 'dude' in a sentence to referring to me, when discussing something. She is more masculine and I am more feminine. This threw me off - I've never been called that.. May seem like not a big deal, or maybe it is. I feel like to her, my nice female appearance and behavior is just plain 'dude'. I'm not big on using this word, so don't why she used it. Any thoughts?
Does she use the word a lot to refer to other people? It depends on the context. I don't know anyone who would use the word "dude" other than jokingly. It wouldn't bother me, but I wouldn't have said it was overly masculine. I don't like being referred to as "mate" because I think that is quite masculine, but it's still not something I would hold against anyone or be thinking about later that day.
@LostInDaydreams She doesn't use it to the best of my knowledge, I can only tell by what happens when I'm around. She maybe used it once talking to a man. I know it sounds like not a big deal.. She wasn't joking.
My friend adressed me as "dude" and now I can't stop saying it in our conversations. She doesn't even use it as a joke or anything, she just uses it to start most of her sentences. She is not masculine but not very feminine either. I'd say in between. But it was more like "Dude look what I found". I'm not sure if this sentence was similar to the one she used. If it was "Yeah this dude over here.." I would be a bit taken aback. I think it's just something she has grown accustomed to over time, she probably doesn't see it at something to personally target you and your style. We all have those words we can't stop using for some reason.
I guess I would be fine with it, and it may sound cool. Yes @RebeccaK she used it in similar sentence, like 'dude, you wouldn't have liked it'. I instantly felt she doesn't not find me attractive.
I can pretty much assure you it has nothing to do with whether or not she finds you attractive. It's just an expression. For my friend it truly doesn't mean anything. I asked her about it, she says she just likes to use it. The thing is, you can use the word dude when not addressing anyone in particular and just speaking in general too. "When people say --- I'm like, dude it's not like that". Note how the word here is people. I wonder if your friend uses the word in this way as well. I agree with with BiBareFeet and I'd be more concerned with how she behaves around you in general. Reading too much into details is not productive here. I'd recommend you try to gauge her feelings about you in other ways.
I use "dude". It's really more about expressing excitement or exclamation ... like "Dude, that was crazy!" It gives language more of a punch. What's popular now is saying "Yeah, Boyyyy!" And sticking "boy" everywhere. Hearing this at first was odd, but the way people can stretch and play with that word adds playfulness to the conversation. I might pick it up myself. All in all, It's really just slang. People don't use it to communicate gender or masculinity. It's more about playfulness, colorfulness, connection, or just old habits. I say "you guys" all the time IRL even when talking to girls. I mean nothing by it, it's merely the way I talk casually. Though I make sure to not use that slang on LGBT forums because we're strangers and you might misunderstand my intentions. If anything, if people are using slang and casual talk, they likely feel comfortable around you.
Yeah, I guess not being sure what she thinks of me in general kind of made me stop and question. I am thinking too much indeed. Just want to know if you are attracted to a lady who is not necessarily out, would you use it.. Boyyy - will keep it in mind I use 'guys' all the time lol
I don't think you're going to get a conclusive answer to this. It will depend on the person. I wouldn't, but then I don't use it anyway. To me it implies friendship, so if was thinking more than friendship I wouldn't use it. Is this the same woman as in your other threads, or somebody else? You don't have to answer that. It'd just give some context.
Totally agree that I wouldn't want to hear it in more than friendship.. I guess it depends on people and factors - I get it. I'm probably overthinking it.
One thing I learned from moving here in the US is that some just say "dude" or "man" without actually referring to someone's gender. I'm a boyish one but hardly get called dude. And for those who did, it was just in a harmless way like how I say "Oh man, it's so hot here" or like an endearment to my close married friend. We just call each other dude for no reason and she's a girl too. I dont call other people that though unless they call me that then I'd do the same. I remember when I was being an ass and my exhusband would tell me some stories and he is being American (as he is anyway) and would say something like "man you should've been there" and I would raise my eyebrow and say "Man???" So maybe yeah, just don't take it seriously.
