Why do straight girls get so excited having a gay friend?

Maybe b/c they can be closer to a gay guy and not have the relationship get confused or have any attraction. And they think gay guys instinctively know about fashion.

 

Not only are gay men non-threatening, but can give them insight to the male mind (or so the reasoning goes). Perhaps some internal sexism is at play, too, since some say other girls are too catty, competition, etc.

Sharing interests doesn't hurt, either. I think just finding someone who is "different" can be worth exploring. It becomes a problem when you make a friend with someone just because they're gay, and especially if it comes with certain demands/expectations.

Regarding lesbians... sure, some are "one of the guys", but considering they're doubly oppressed and many men see them as a challenge or non-existent... whereas the playing field is a bit more even with straight women and gay men (usually no attraction from either side, oppressed because of sexuality or gender, long time association).

 

Or the fact that popular media portrays gay guys as being the ultimate best friend who's in to fashion and other stuff girls like, or someone who has no problem having conversations about the boys you both think are cute. Or a guy who's good at applying makeup .Kind of like the point the movie GBF tried to make. That a gay guy is just a normal guy and don't all follow the stereotype.

 

While some straight women are beyond annoying (your friend about the ear piercing for example) being friend with girls can be some of the greatest friendships for many reason. The main reason is because the friendship allows a break from the pressures of society in many ways. You get to play with gender norms, form friendships that don't have societal expectations and it can be fun for all involved.

All that being said, if you start feeling uncomfortable with how girls are acting around you feel free to state what you need. If you don't enjoy their attention then confront it or cut contact. Don't allow people around you who suck your energy away.

I think the more bizarre thing is how often your friend still go to the mall!

 

Sorry, I had too. Everytime someone mentions going to the mall, I think of this.

 

I wish that straight girls would get excited about me being a gay friend. I don't feel that I meet the standards though - they would rather go for extremely flamboyant types.

 

I experienced the same thing as well. Two of my female friends I came out to were super excited about it. One of them too much. We're very good friends and I've known them for a couple of years, but this was like they suddenly saw a completely different person in me. It took me a while to convince them that no, I'm not obsessed with shopping clothes, I do not want to watch a romantic movie with them, and I am not experienced in fashion. One of them got it after a few days, the other one after a month. Fortunately it didn't damage our relationship at all.

 

Probably cause they think we all want to go shopping and because we aren't "threatening" so to speak.

 

They seem to be quite bad for stereotyping gay guys. Still, I wish that they would befriend me if I came out.

 

I suppose there's some value in knowing where you stand with people (i.e. girls know they're permanently just friends), but I really hate the idea that it's such a big part of how you're viewed. If anyone thinks of me as their "gay friend" chances are, I'm not their friend.

 

They think it makes them look up to date, being friends with an openly gay man. But really, they are thinking about themselves, not us. They want to parade us around and take us shopping and show us off to their other friends. To them, we are basically an excuse to bring out the shallow and superficial side of their personality.

 

They want a sassy gay friend just like in the movies.

Its a type of homophobia where they see you more as a stereotype than a person.

Its very awkward.

 

Are you guys saying that sometimes girls want a gay best friend to prove that they're not homophobic? That seems off.

 

Some girls want a stereotypical "pet gay" and it's annoying af also I'm not going to be good at it. I'll go shopping but I have a finite amount of patience for it, and I don't dance and hate clubs. And I'm entirely too lazy to do any kind of skin and hair care routine.

There's one girl who does consider me her gay best friend (I'm actually going to be part of her bachelorette party) and we were friends before I came out but got a lot closer afterwards. We like to drink fruity drinks, sing early 2000s pop songs, talk about hot guys, and watch movies. It works for us because she doesn't want me to be some kind of stereotype that isn't true to who I am.

 

This is great. I don't fit the stereotypes surrounding sexuality. Some people seem to be tipped off to my not being on the straight and narrow path by how articulate and detailed people tell me I am. Even then, they're still wondering ... which is fine. I have always had a fair number of female friends at any given time because they don't need to talk about the typical guy things that some doltish guys can only talk about. Women tend to talk about a greater variety of subjects. The sticky wicket is that I'm much more o.k. with being friends with a woman I find attractive than one I don't find attractive. I have a few women friends who are quite attractive, have never married, and I'm not one to pry about their sexual history, but we still talk about many things and are good friends.

Also, my therapeutic relationship is going fairly well. I'm going to be talking about this and other issues.

This post and this thread made me laugh.

 

While I'm not Gay (Bi), and only out to family I think that a lot of it has to do with just being able to have a male who is a Friend, without worrying about things going farther or those awkward moments of sexual nature that often can happen between men and women who are just friends.

Perhaps another way of looking at it is it's almost a totally different FWB situation where a Woman can have a male friend, which can have benefits especially if their friend is inclined to male things without having to worry about anything sexual, and if they do have fashion sense or look at things in a more female way they can share activities that they could not with most straight guys.

My last SO was a woman who embraced all of me and that was partially the case there, we would go shopping together and do other things that most men would push back on including things of a more emotional nature that most men could care less about. I know in our case that those things had a lot of meaning and value in our relationship.

 

Most straight girls don't deserve a GBF, that should only be reserved for a top bossy bitch. Honestly @Loves books is right, its mostly the media.

It actually shaped me into the gay man I am today, I can be a petty bitch when I feel like it. I remember when I was a little boy seeing portrayals of gay men on T.V. and then going into my room and practicing the body language and limp wristed gestures in the mirror. I pop my ass out, pout my lips and I talk with my hands limp wristed, I love to preen too. I know Im a stereotype and Im strangely okay with it.

Girls saw the same stuff and learned that they needed a GBF, that it was the cool thing, every middle aged woman in my town wants to have me over their house for sex toy parties and cheap wine, its annoying. Media is a huge influence on who we are.