Pronouns of drag queens and crossdressers

No worries! Everyone is welcome here, trans or not. In regards to your question, It can depend on the person, so just go by what they say. When it comes to drag queens, it's common to use female pronouns when they're in drag or performing, and male pronouns when they're not. A lot of drag queens create a drag persona that they perform as, and this is where the feminine pronouns come from, to correspond with the female drag identity. For example, Adam Sanders from American Idol. When he's not in drag, you refer to him with masculine pronouns. When Ada Vox, the drag persona, is performing, you refer to her with female pronouns because you're not talking about Adam Sanders, you're talking about Ada Vox.

The key with pronouns is to use ones that match the person's gender identity (apart from drag). It doesn't mean the sex you're assigned at birth, it means the gender you identify as. So, when it comes to cross-dressing, kind of by definition, the person is dressing in clothing other than what is commonly worn by other's of the same gender. That's why it's called cross-dressing. So, If I identify as a male, but I wear women's clothing, I would still use male pronouns because I still identify as male, I'm just wearing women's clothing. This also means that trans people aren't cross-dressing when we wear clothing that doesn't correspond with our assigned birth gender, because the clothing corresponds with our gender identity. So, when I wear women's clothing, I'm not cross-dressing, because even though I was assigned male at birth, I identify as a woman.

Hopefully that answers your question. I know pronouns can be confusing, but it's awesome that you're asking questions. It really does mean a lot to trans people to be referred to with proper pronouns. Have a good day!!

 

Yeah, this is a big confusing mess. Someone who just crossdresses for fun and isn't questioning gender should probably be called by their sex, but I'm someone who has never really bought into the whole pronoun thing. Call me he, call me she. ...whatever I don't care.

 

@Hanyauku has given such a good answer above so listen her's first... but I have another way to basically say what she just said that I was already going to reply with so here it is:

With a drag performer when they are "in face"... that is, they're in costume. Then you would use their character's pronouns. It's almost easier if you think of their costumed self as another person. They are an actor, and that is the character that they're playing. The difference is a drag performer often continues to be in that role while off-stage. The good news is that there is a visual cue in this case (and there isn't always visual cues for other complex gender scenarios)... that is the costume/makeup. Essentially if you're referring to something the person did while they were in face you'd use their performance pronouns and name (so this includes past tense). The only difference with them both being different people is they share the same memories and some of the same personality traits (although many drag characters are much more over the top).

Now where it might get a little touchy and you should be extra careful is their out-of-costume pronouns. Some drag performers are transgender or non-binary. They may not want to be referred to by their birth-assignment. You could ask for preferred pronouns which is sort of becoming a little normal to do now, or try to see what others call them when they're out of costume. One way to ask for pronouns when introducing yourself is to tell what you'rs are: "Hi I am Kay, my pronouns are they/them"... even if your pronouns match your assigned gender this can be a good way to politely indicate that you care about pronouns