I just want ti kiss a women to see if this is all in my head or if I am really attracted to women. But I don't know any. Not any who are not married or who are gay. Anyone in the same situation?
Oh god, yes. So, so much. But I also have the problem of needing to have an emotional connection, so I don’t think I could kiss just any woman.
Yes me too, I need that connection too so it’s quite frustrating. Going to have to think of some plan b ideas as online dating hasn’t worked so far.
Cause I have never been with a women. Only men and I'm married. Questioning my sexuality at 42 how crazy is that.
Well then I think it's very unlikely it is all in your head. I can totally sympathise with trying to figure out your sexuality and feeling as though things are just going round and round in your head. So your crushes eye they on friends or aquaintences or celebrities?
Aquaintences. If they were friends I might try and kiss them already. Thing is I'm married to a man. What do I do with these feelings? They wont go away.
If you're married it's a little more difficult of course... Personally? I'd say to "weigh" the attraction. What do you feel when you think about men? What do you feel when you think about women? If there's an imbalance, you'll want to take note of it. If the attraction isn't mutual then it could cause problems in your relationship now or further down the road. As for other women though, it's best to remember that they have boundaries too. Have to make sure they're on board you know? Consent is really the foundation to love as is. What you're saying is understandable though, wanting to experiment. If you're just now figuring yourself out I can get it. After being boxed up so long and expected to be one way, you'd of course want to figure out the truth about yourself. I'm not "always right" but I think it'd be best to find a quiet time when there's room to think, and compare your feelings. Think about romance and dates both ways. What feels more natural, more genuine? Think of it from a fresh perspective. For a moment, not considering family or society's bias... If it's just you, who would you rather date? It probably won't just become clear overnight, but if it helps you figure yourself out even a bit, it's a start? It's not abnormal to start questioning a bit late, though. The world tries hard to bury our feelings, but they eventually come back out. I've seen it happen many times.
Being married certainly makes things trickier to negotiate. In a way they almost need to be separated which is very difficult to do. On one side there are your feelings for women which whilst not put to the test definitely sound real and strong. I think if you could work on accepting these feelings (not always easy) that would be good. On the other side there is you marriage. How is your relationship with your husband? Are you happy in the marriage? Were you happy before these feelings for women came along?
I want happy with my marriage when these feelings started. In fact we were going to marriage counseling because of my husbands drinking and lack of sex. Things are better with the drinking part as hes vit down quite a bit. The sex is okay but lacking as he has no libido. I'm left unsatisfied at best. So these feelings all started around that time and have continued. When I think about being single I don't get any excitement of meeting a man, only meeting a women. I fantasize about randomly meeting a women and falling in love. But when I think about growing old with another women, it doesn't feel quite right. I don't know if I am just bored and tired in my marriage or if these feelings all exist.
Ok so what about growing old with another woman doesn't feel right? Is it something you can put your finger on? Or are you not sure? Are you still going to marriage counselling? Do you feel as though things have improved to a level where you could be happy or to be happy would you still need to see more improvements?
More sex would make me happier. Thing have improved to the point that I guess I could be happy provided the sex improves. I don't know what it is about growing old with a women that I cant picture. I think it is more because it isn't the norm in society. Could I be bisexual? The thought of being with a man doesn't disgust me. I just don't think I would want another man .
Sure you could be bisexual, and only you can decide, added to which to a point the label isn't important. I would say I was a lesbian but the thought of a man doesn't completely disgust me it just doesn't really do much for me. I think allowing yourself to imagine yourself with a woman doing different types of things, not necessarily sexual but just everyday things like shopping and cooking etc, allow yourself to think of them and see how that makes you feel, changing the way society has taught us to view things can be tricky to overwrite sometimes. I assume you haven't discussed these thoughts with your husband?
I’m a guy but 45 and married also. Never been with a guy but only because of circumstances not fear. But like you want to see if it confirms a lot of what I’m feeling towards other men.
Yes I actually have discussed these thoughts with my husband. And also in counseling. The counselor told me that I was just lonely and wanted someone to be nice to me. Husband says have an affair but my values and morales will not allow me to do that.
Oh ok that's interesting, I assume your therapist isn't an LGBT specialist. I'm surprised she was so dismissive of your feelings. I mean if you are just lonely then why not another man.
