Hi All, I am looking to bottom for the first time in gay sex. I know all the keys to a successful experience, such as relaxation, not rushing, lube (on both the toy and my anus), etc etc. One thing I am not sure about is the best gay sex position for a beginning bottom? I am thinking lieing on my side and the guy behind me doing me. This would mean he could also get me off by masturbating my penis and I have control of holding his penis as it comes inside me, and I can finger him. Also, I have had a few colonoscopies, although under sedation, and played with anal toys and lube, so perhaps used to the idea of something up there by now. Thanks!
It depends how much control you want really. If you have some fear about it and want to make sure you feel in control, then sitting in his lap face to face with him could be a good way to start. You'd be able to see and control everything and could set your own pace to make sure the speed is comfortable for you. If you don't want any control and trust him, doggy style is simple and is easy to try out different speeds and intensities to see what you like best. Personally I'm pretty fond of what's pretty much gay missionary position, laying on each other face to face and holding each other. It's a lot more intimate than other positions and allows for things like holding hands, kissing, and looking each other in the eye instead of just focusing on the penetration part.
I haven’t yet done this, may never, but the missionary position is the one I fantasize about. I want to look at the mans face and kiss him while it’s happening. Frankly,it seems very erotic to me
Agreed. For opening up the anus and having control over the angle and depth of penetration, this is one of the best...as is lying on your side with the guy behind you, and maybe with the variation of the upper leg slightly forward and raised, and being held by the guy.
So I took the plunge and tried (with a toyand a trans woman). I was lieing on my side with my leg raised as suggested above. I could get the toy in, but then it comes to my internal schpinter which, when touched, didn't hurt but felt really sensitive and just refused to take anything in.
You were probably nervous is why. It might take more experience, but eventually when you feel relaxed and comfortable it will be easier for it to open up more when you want it to.
Y You will probably just have to take it slow and gradual. I’ve never taken a man but I’ve been using toys for a long time I had to build up to normal penis size
I would have the guy lay on his back and you sit down on top of him so you can take him at your pace. I did the missionary position the first time I bottomed but I had about 10+ years of self anal play so my experience was not painful at all. Make sure you lube yourself well and his penis well. Pain is reduced the more you can do some foreplay with a toy or fingers. Overall try to relax. There will be some discomfort the first couple of times but if the guy is patient the pain will subside and pleasure will take over!
This! It takes a lot of practice to learn how to relax and enjoy it. It personally took me maybe 3-5 times to actually get a penis inside of me. Maybe took a couple other times to relax enough to enjoy it. Now its the most mind blowing experience. I would stop focusing on getting things all the way in and thrusting and focus more on the experience of it all. Work on putting in just the tip, don't let your partner thrust, and just jack off while you make out. It will feel amazing and your body will also start getting used to different sensations.
This information is quite useful if you are bottoming for the first time: http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/health/anal-sex.php The point about bearing down slightly and taking things slowly is particularly relevant.