Im so confused and i have been having this internal conflict for quite some time and im getting tired of it so here goes... Whenever I think i have feelings for a guy I am excited like anybody else cause, you know, new thing to explore!!! But the thing is is that after words when my giddiness goes down and i get back to my sober senses i think about a girl. I always seem to have a girl in the back my mind. And before i forget to mension it, if i have feelings for a guy i dont enjoy any form of PDA. Im usually only comfortable with hugging in public and then privately holding hands and ive never kissed anyone before(besides my parents obviously). But witha girl i have no problem with holding their hand or putting my arm over their shoulder or whatever. An if i do get feelings for a girl then it lasts much longer (like i still have feelings for this one girl from last year) than me having feelings for a guy( days, maybe weeks, and rarely months) So am i bi or just a lesbian who is trying to get out of the traditional heterosexual programming? I hope this makes sense.
Maybe you just have a physical attraction to guys and that's why the feelings don't last as long, and both physical and emotional attraction to girls? I reckon when you have both of these together then you're a lot more invested in the relationship and they may last a lot longer than the ones based on lust alone. I've always had the same question lingering though...I've been in two long term relationships with guys and I'm beginning to think I was just doing it out of the traditional hetero programming you mentioned. One of the conclusions I've come up with is that I can appreciate a guy who is attractive/handsome but I wouldn't really want to take it any further. Whereas with a woman who I find attractive, my imagination runs wild and it's a huge bonus if she'd turn out to be a great person in general. Women occupy my mind A LOT more than men do these days, especially now that I'm getting more comfortable with who I am and what I want. I really wouldn't worry too much about labels, however if a label would make you feel better I think maybe you're bi but perhaps leaning towards the lesbian side? Don't let the confusion consume you thougb, try to just go with what you like at the time and don't deny yourself anything based on a label you've given yourself! Feelings change all the time
Thank you for your input. The attraction that Iusually have with guys is emotional I think because I love their personality but hardly any human contact besides hugging. I will try to gowith the flow but theother problem is is that I often get feelings for a girl and a guy at the same time do its very confusing.
I agree, there's totally room in the 'bi' label to orient yourself in one direction or another. I identify as lesbian, but obviously I can be a semi-fair judge on whether a guy is attractive. I feel like society as a whole knows what some attractive people look like, and attractive people can make you nervous sometimes lol. I used to have 'crushes' on guys but in comparison with crushes I had on girls, they were definitely missing the whole attraction aspect like you said, and were more just emotional, platonic crushes. You're not alone but you don't have to be rushed to find a label, and even if you do find a label, don't worry if it's not a 100% fit!
