Sometimes I feel myself getting swept up in hopes, dreams, and the excitement that comes along with those things. I don't want to not hope or dream or get excited about all the good possibilities in life, but I don't want to get overly attached and invested either. That just leads to getting crushed if things don't work out. Is there a way to dial things back? Or do I just risk getting crushed by things? Honesty I'd rather do that than be horribly bitter and pessimistic all the time like I used to be. Is it possible to find some sort of middle ground? Lately I've been going from too much hope (I think) to then calling myself an idiot for it and sinking into pessimism to protect myself, and it's kind of tiring.
I manage expectations by creating backup plans, as many as possible. It helps because instead of feeling like your dream will either work or not, you start to see all the alternative options that can be used if it doesn't work out. It gives peace of mind which lets me focus more on the original goal instead of worrying about it not happening. You could try the same thing if you think it would help you. It's not being pessimistic because you're still invested in accomplishing the original goal, you just give yourself realistic options in case it doesn't work out.
There are arguments that pessimism is better than optimism since it’s a tad more honest. It’s expect the worst but hope for the best. Hope, while sounding nice, is cruel. It promises things will be better without proof. Pessimism is about steeling ourselves to the great amount of hardships so they don’t hit as hard.
True pessimism will make you constantly depressed and reduce your life span and enjoyment considerably. I would recommend that you simply try and recognize how beautiful everything is every day. The spring leaves on the trees feel so soft and the light makes beautiful designs on their underside as they hang in the sun. Even your own hair can feel amazingly soft or be a beautiful color. Try and take enjoyment from these small things all the time and notice all these things about the world. Not only will it increase mental engagement and therefore help develop your cognitive pathways but it will profound increase your ability to appreciate life. In the sea of beautiful things that make up our world we can learn to sail around each new darkness - and see it - but not become stranded, crashed, upon it's rocky shores.
I haven’t posted anything on this website in a while but I happened to check out some new posts today and this just really resonated with me. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m so young but the excitement of beginning my coming out process has led me to become constantly wrapped up in dreaming about the future. It’s difficult because it can be hard to know when this is healthy and when it’s not. Honestly I don’t really have much advice to give you. I guess I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone and that I understand. I hope that helps!
