Hi! I am questioning my sexuality, and I see that a lot of people ask the question "who are you attracted to?" when trying to find out ones orientation. But what even is attraction? Because I am having some difficulties knowing if I am attracted to men and/or women, and I would truly appreciate if someone could help me with some questions: - I can easily see when a girl or boy is pretty - is this attraction? - Sometimes I want to have sex with my boyfriend. Its not just a feeling of being horny in general, but I feel this want to be close to HIM - is this sexual attraction? - I have had sexual fantasies about some women I have met in real life - does this mean I am attracted to them? Because I do not feel anything towards them when I am around them in real life, even after I have fantasized about them.
Oh and I forgot to add: I watch and enjoy lesbian porn, does this mean I am attracted to women? These questions may seem silly and obvious for some, but I am seriously having a hard time answering them! I am open minded, so it doesnt really bother me wether or not this means I am attracted to women or not, I just want to KNOW if it means that or not, because I truly cant tell by myself!
Aesthetic attraction may or may not involve erotic feelings. Noticing someone is attractive is not the exact same thing as being attracted to them. What you describe feeling about your boyfriend does sound like sexual attraction. You don't just enjoy certain sensations he gives you, you enjoy him, which is what most will tell you a good indicator that you do find him attractive. This depends on whether you feel like you'd like to take them into reality or not. You sound curious. I have been the exact opposite in this regard, I fantasized about certain men but when it came down to it, I didn't want any of that to happen for some reason.
No, just noticing that someone is good looking is not sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is more like an involuntary reaction to a person. I've done something similar with fantasizing about people I don't feel anything about in real life, but I think the fact that you are fantasizing about them at all isn't meaningless. Why them? Why not a celebrity? Perhaps your fantasies are enough and you don't need to actually be with them? I'm somewhat more weary of men I've had fantasies about than women so I can see why it might not be something that happens.
Thank you both so much for your input! xx Im having a hard time with undetstanding my thoughts and emotions, so its nice to get others perspective SkyWinter: You asked me why I fantasize about the ones I do - Im honestly not completly sure. I guess there is just something about them, but that "something" isnt enough for me to want to do something with them. Or at least not for now I guess
Well, I would doubt it would ever really be enough for you to leave a current relationship you seem satisfied with even if you are significantly attracted to others.
Thank you for your comment Humbly Me! My issue is that very few things seem to motivate me on that departement. I mean, I was a virgin until 23 just because I didn't have an urge to do something about it at all with anyone, male or female. So Im having some problems with understanding wether or not I am experiencing sexual attraction towards the people I fantasise about.
It just means you have a desire to have sex with someone, either for real or in your mind (even if you wouldn't act on it). Some examples: If I saw a hot person on the street to the point I started imagining them naked, it's sexual attraction. I can say I wouldn't literally sleep with them because I don't feel comfortable with casual sex, but it's still sexual attraction because I felt a sexual pull. If I desire to have sex with my partner, even if I don't find them PHYSICALLY attractive and only want to bond, it's still sexual attraction because I still desire sex for x whatever reason. If I'm only having sex with someone because I feel pressured to please someone (them, society, etc) it's not sexual attraction because I feel no desire.
Oh right - so I am experiencing sexual attraction then when I fantasise? I guess that makes me bisexual! Thanks for clearing that up I have thought about it before, but its only now that I am starting to get used to the whole not-being-straight-after-all-thing.
