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I'm not sure where this goes..

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Pol, Apr 13, 2018.

  1. Pol

    Pol
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    Basically I kinda joined here to perhaps make some connections and I guess familiarise myself more with the LGBT thing. I'm 22 but even though I've only recently discussed my orientation with counsellors, I've never really said out loud ''I'm gay'' and I'm not sure I ever really want to. To me it would be like disclosing the fact that you have something embarrassing on your body and it's that sense of feeling ''exposed'' and nude. I don't have any friends in real life and even though I go out with people from college for social things now and then, I don't feel much of a connection with them even if I'd like to. I think this stems from years of living a very social isolated life and as a result, I really struggle to make attachments with other people. Even after disclosing personal details about my life to counsellors and after 11 sessions with one of them, I still felt no release of any emotion and I'm still dead inside. I have issues around my mental health unrelated to my orientation but that's a work in progress with these antidepressants (which don't seem to work). I recently decided to go to this LGBT centre where I am in Ireland and even after talking with the LGBT youth officer (whose also my age) I didn't connect with him and I still don't feel like I'm part of any sort of ''LGBT community'' after several one to one sessions with him. But I'm still trying to find who and where I am in this life, but all I'm ever getting is blank page after blank page. I kind of have a preference for ''bears'' on the LGBT spectrum even though I myself am quite skinny and really shy. Sorry for this long post, I'm new here. Going to random LGBT places online (where it's all anonymous and my words are just that, text) without the confrontation is something I'm doing a lot recently and maybe I should just stop. I may be starting counselling with someone who is LGBT as part of the organisation but I don't know if I'll go through with it. What should I do?
     
  2. Pol

    Pol
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    Anyone any advice?
     
  3. Destin

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    I think you're making good progress just by talking to counselors and talking to that youth counselor. I'm not really involved in real life with LGBT social stuff - it's kind of intimidating that they already are comfortable with themselves and I'm still figuring things out so wouldn't really fit in with them.
     
  4. Pol

    Pol
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    That's the thing though, I feel like I'm making no progress whatsoever. My parents are going to a gay wedding (cousin getting married) over in Italy next month and I am wondering, should I say anything before then? I think they already know my orientation to be honest, but it's still an issue for me.
     
  5. Bi and emo

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    Just be yourself . I have trouble connecting with people too. Maybe try and open up a bit more to some people . Go to a pride festival or something like that and just open up about anything .
     
  6. Bi and emo

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    Well you could possibly meet someone there . Weddings are a great place to find people
     
  7. Pol

    Pol
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    I'm not going to the wedding, my parents are. Way too late for anyone else to consider going along when it's already booked.
     
  8. Bi and emo

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    . Well maybe try going to a gay bar and making a friend there .
     
  9. Pol

    Pol
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    Anyone else having one of those days where they wish they could go back over 22 years ago and stop themselves being born? That's me right now lol
     
  10. 21zephyr

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    I had those days for 30 years. I understand your pain, but there are things you can do to get better. First and foremost, keep up the therapy- I wanted to quit because I didn’t think I was making any progress. The support I received from my therapist was important. Since your parents are going to a gay wedding this could be a good opportunity to talk to them about your sexuality. Since they are attending, it seems like they would be receptive. Take some small steps and soon you will begin to feel better. My cloud got awfully dark before I accepted myself and came out. 6 months later... I am in a much better place and I’m looking forward to finding someone. Use this site, keep in touch and know you have our support.