I’m starting to accept the fact that I am Gay. I don’t know why I’ve got to accept it and why I can’t just be like ‘cool I’m gay’ but here I am... . I’ve known for a long time that I’m definitely not straight, and even since around 8 years old I’ve suspected that I’m gay, and throughout school have received a lot of comments about being gay from many people, all of which I’ve heavily denied. I feel as if all I’ve ever wanted to do is just fit in and be liked and accepted by everyone at school, and in someways even wanted to be ‘mr popular’, but of course that’s never happened, and now as I’m approaching the end of my school career I’m glad to say it never did. I attend a church school, and although most people there are fairly liberal in views, I know there are some who are unfortunately quite homophobic, and many who aren’t fully acceptant of it - 2 of my best friends within my close group of 5 have even expressed their views that gay marriage shouldn’t be accepted in society - and of course all of this is making it hard to come out. I don’t really have one main best friend, and don’t trust anyone enough not to spread my biggest secret, even those within my close group. I believe that if I was to come out to my family they’d all be supportive, particularly a close few, but I don’t know how some would react, and coming from a family where there’s 30 of us within my extended family, who are all very close, i wouldn’t want to cause friction or tension between us all, since my family is one thing I could never bare to loose, all of which is making it very hard to even being close to coming out. The biggest thing I’m scared of is coming out and people changing how they view me. I fear I’ll no longer be someone’s friend but their ‘gay bestfriend’, who automatically loves shopping and gossiping because they’re gay, or my sisters gay brother or moms gay son within my family, not just me. The biggest thing at the moment for me is accepting being gay myself, before I can expect anybody else to begin to. Anyone help and advice from anyone would be great I don’t have anyone LGBT+ close to talk to, so if anyone could share their experiences with me and offer some advice, I’d appreciate it more than you could ever know. Thanks
Hello, I am gonna share my story but first I want to offer some advice. I would (as hard as it is) try and wait and come out when you accept your self and also when you have another environment to go to like a friends house who accepts you (although in this situation it seems to be hard for you) Also, keep posting on here or talk to me if you want. So, this situation is sort of, kinda similar to mine. I live in a church village in England. I went to a church school for my first few years of education and when i was around 8 I discovered what gay meant but I thought "I can't be gay" i started questioning my self. People started coming up with suspicions about me being gay. However if anyone asked i declined then people started saying that i was dating curtain girls in my school, but at the time this was better than being called gay. I went to church as part of the school was about going to church, that didn't help with accepting my self. I didn't feel normal. I went on to date girls in my secondary part of education this meant that i sort of put it at the back of my head. However that summer i realised that i was gay and came out to my brother after i told one of my friends who accepted me. My brother thought and still thinks it is a phase. So that put me off. Then i told one of the girls who i had dated and she thought it was a phase as well and i thought everyone else would thinks so too, so i didn't come out to other people till this February, i came out to my close friends then they said when would i come out to my parents i explained that i thought my mother would think that i am too young and my dad hates gays. That week my mum asked if i was gay and i went yes and it turns out my mum and dad accept me. I then told one of my friends who leaked it out along with my crush. Now i am a happy open gay teen. Hope it all goes well
Definitely sound similar I’m sure most of my friends would be accepting, but I’m scared of loosing a close few when I do come out. I’ve still got another year of education left, and several trips away planned, and for some reason that’s one big thing holding me back - I’m worried no one will be willing to share a room with me if I’m gay and they’re not - don’t know I’m letting this bother me but here I am... Glad you are doing well in your journey!! Thanks for the advice and sharing your story with me
I am sure the people wont be bothered about you being gay on your travels. Best Of Luck in The Future
mfd1604.....Hello and welcome to empty closets! I was a public school teacher for 41 years and I know that kids can be unkind to those who are different. But I also know that teenagers today know so much more than their parents ever did about sexuality and quite often, they are very accepting. Attending a "church school" could make that somewhat more difficult, but you would have to be the judge of that. One thing that is important is that you are the person who decides when to come out...and who to come out to! If you are not ready right now...don't do it. I know that when I finally accepted that I am and always was gay, I had a real urge to come out...to tell my friends. I wanted so very much to destroy that secret that had caused me so much guilt, self-hate and depression for so very long. After I had come out to about 8 of my friends - and been accepted by all of them - I started to feel different. I began to feel that I didn't have to tell everyone, that there were a few others that were special friends, friends that I wanted to tell. However, I didn't feel like I wanted the whole world to know. What I am saying is....when you are ready, choose to tell those who are important to you, people who you know will accept and support you. When you've done that, then you can choose which of the people in your life that are important, but who you know will be more difficult to tell. For me, telling my family was the hardest. It was like the people who had known me for most of my life were a lot harder to tell than those who I had known for only, say five or ten years. It's like you are telling them that you are not the person they thought you were....that you are actually some one else. I've heard people say that being gay is only a small part of who you are. But when you are coming out to someone that part of you that is gay seems to be huge! The big thing to remember is, that if they do love you, they will accept you. I have found that most often your mother and father, while it may be a surprise to them, will still love and care about you. Being gay does not change the fact that you are their son who they held in their arms minutes after you were born. Love could very well be the strongest force in the world. I don't really thing that people will suddenly treat you differently because they know this one new thing about you. I guess if you suddenly started acting completely different (over-the-top stereotypically flamboyantly hyper-gay) they might treat you different. But very few people who come out under go a totally personality change. So...find a few trusted people that you can tell and that will support you as you decided who else needs to know and go from there. You will be glad you did! .....David
