Hi. I don’t want to ramble on this thread so I’ll keep it brief. Over the last year or so I’ve been battling with my gender identity. I know I want to be a girl. At least I wish with all my heart that I was born a girl. But the thought of coming out or transitioning completely terrifies me. I have a brilliant group of friends. Most of them gay or lesbian and even a trans and non binary. But the idea of telling them the truth still fills me with fear. I’m scared that if I do, I’ll lose them. In the past I’ve been almost completely friendless and I don’t know if I could cope if I went back to that state of being: wandering around without anybody to talk to, knowing that nobody cares who you are or what you’re doing. Just a loner. I’ve put up with almost a decade of it before, I don’t want to go back there. I’d sooner be found dead. So I’m faced with a choice: come out. Become lonely. Go back to your sad little state of being with the new threat of bullying. Or stay in the closet. Stay in the lifeboat and wait out the storm. And having just escaped from years of friendless isolation it’s an obvious choice for me. But something gbhas to change. I can’t live like this forever. Depression has been with me so long it’s become a part of my everyday life. A part of my identity. And even now, with the benefit of good friends, I can’t shake it off. And there’s only one reason why. I don’t even know why I’m posting here. What good will it do? Maybe somebody will come along with a paragraph of inspiring text which will lift my mood before I slump back down into depression. It’s just a cycle at the end of the day. I can’t escape it. Say what you want to say. I don’t even think I care anymore.
“I have a brilliant group of friends. Most of them gay or lesbian and even a trans and non binary. But the idea of telling them the truth still fills me with fear. I’m scared that if I do, I’ll lose them.” Why do you think you would lose friends by telling them that you are just like them? They probably already know, or hope that you are.
