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I feel the need to come out at 61

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by jart56, Apr 6, 2018.

  1. jart56

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    I've been married for 37 years, and I can't stand ignoring who I am any longer. I know I am freaking old, not attractive anymore. UGH. My wife has known since before we were married. I have stayed hidden because of work, because of the church. I can't do it any longer. I know I am not alone.
     
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  2. 21zephyr

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    Just came out at 52- we are never too old!!! The most important thing for me was to be free of people finding out- the rest will take care of itself. I hope to find someone and you should too. There will be people for us!!!!
     
  3. spartafc

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    It's literally better late than never! Go you!!
     
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  4. KAZIM

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    It is never too late. Might as well do it. I never had any problems because I never hid my sexuality. It caused me much grief. Good luck. I am sure it will be a relief.
     
  5. Markster

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    Dear Jart56,

    You ARE not alone!!!

    On January 6, I concluded that I could not live ONE MORE DAY as an impostor. I am 61. My wife ALSO knew before we were married 28 years ago. Back then my mistake was believing my own deception that God had changed me. I wanted change so bad that I willed it to be so. It required lying to myself. A horrible place to spend almost one-half of my life, but . . .

    Where you find yourself right at this very moment may not feel very exciting...but it IS exciting! I venture that today is the day that the emotional pain you've been enduring finally outweighed the fear of coming out.

    Moving forward will not be easy, but the pain in this new challenge will be temporary, with a goal in sight just ahead. This pain is the lesser cost of setting yourself free. The old pain would have destroyed you.

    For you, this time is the right time. Yesterday you were not ready. Tomorrow your fear may change your mind. It's today.

    I am so happy that you are sharing this news and getting feedback & support!

    It's no secret what that 56 in your name represents. A GREAT YEAR!!




     
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  6. Caraldo

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    Just accepting it for yourself is a huge step. I really just found a sense of relief reaching self acceptance, even though I had really known since childhood.
     
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  7. Biguy45

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    I agree. I’m not out and not active but I accepted my bisexuality within the past year. Nothing has changed in my life really but it has given me peace
     
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  8. Markster

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    Reaching 100% self-acceptance is so freeing. In my case I finally put to death the false hope of finding one yet untaken pill, one yet unread life-changing book, one yet unspoken prayer, and the one final therapy session that would change me. No! Wait! I really am gay! And I'm OK!

    There are so many better things to keep in a closet. But certainly not the real me!
     
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  9. BiHarri

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    Hey sorry to bother everyone. But I know im only sixteen but i came out not long ago and its the best thing you can do. Im sure there will be plenty of people who will want to be with you and around you. Ugly is what you may see, others may see a confident man. So go for it. No regrets.
     
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