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Am I weird for not being into threesomes?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Nevmys, Apr 3, 2018.

  1. Nevmys

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    So, I haven't generally been into threesomes. Although I could see the appeal of the concept, it wasn't something I was into.

    But yesterday a guy invited me to one and I decided to give it a try to see if I liked it.

    Everything went well. There was no intercourse, just blowjobs and handjobs, but it went well. No one was left out and the three of us had an orgasm.

    However, although it was a good experience, it wasn't as good as one on one sex, so it's just simply something I wouldn't repeat.

    So I've been feeling weird because it's not something I want to repeat and I'm wondering if there are other guys that feel this way, since according to stereotypes, every guy likes threesomes.

    Am I weird?
    Are there other guys that aren't into threesomes?
     
  2. Chip

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    Please don't buy into stereotypes and urban legends. There are lots, perhaps a majority, of men that don't like sex with more than one other person.

    Personally, I believe that with few exceptions, it is difficult to reach the level of emotional connection and intimacy with more than two people compared to what an emotionally healthy couple can achieve.

    There's nothing remotely abnormal or wrong or weird because you prefer monogamy.
     
  3. SkyWinter

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    It's not weird to not like them. I could probably do it with the right people, but it would be rare.
     
  4. Hyrule Wayfarer

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    I think this might depend on whether you feel comfortable having unemotional, sex is just sex, type of sex. If you can do this with one person, then I would think it would be easier to transition from being intimate with one person you don't care about to two people you don't care about. Or it might have been you just didn't like the type of stuff that happened in this threesome, if you are really into penetrating someone or being penetrated, I can see why this threesome might have been boring.
     
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  5. beenthrdonetht

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    Lots of people think they like/want threesomes, I think that's very true. But the actual experience isn't like the fantasy.
     
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  6. Nevmys

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    Thanks for answering. The thing is that I was comfortable and I can separate sex from my emotions, so I don't think it was that.

    Actually, I was more comfortable knowing that there wasn't going to be penetration, because I still don't get used to penetrating or being penetrated. Also, I didn't find the experience boring, I think it just wasn't my thing, but hearing how much lots of people like it, and seeing statistics where over 80% of men want them made me feel weird for not being something I'm totally into. Also, I forgot to mention that this was a hook-up and not while in a relationship. All my experiences so far have been hook-ups and I haven't been in a relationship so far.

    I think that this may be true, and I started wondering if, after having a threesome, those 80+% of men would still like it.

    Thanks for answering, everyone. Also, sorry if I have grammar errors, English isn't my primary language
     
  7. 21zephyr

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    I don’t think a ton of guys are into threesomes, it’s just more of a bragging/urban legend thing. You have to do what makes you the most comfortable and satisfied, not what you think others want you to do.

    I wish I could find one guy to be with, you are way more fortunate than me. Plus, I’m shy and just having an intimate one-on-one session would be plenty fine for me.
     
  8. johndeere3020

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    Ahh, your fine, don't fall into stereotypes.
     
  9. Hyrule Wayfarer

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    You keep saying a 'statistic' of 80% of men. Assuming this statistic is correct, although I have no idea where you heard it - do you mean 80% of all men (including red blooded men into women) or do you mean 80% of men sexually interested in other men?

    I can see why men getting to have intercourse with two women would like it. It is just normal sex but with two women. Although if I was a guy I would feel alot of stress about being able to maintain an erection for two women, what with the risk of dead time with the refractory period and what not.

    Also speaking for women - of the lesbians i've spoken to most have expressed an interest in a lesbian threesome or have had one before. As for straight women the topic doesn't come up very often, but I do know some women who say they would absolutely not want a threesome with two men or a man/woman. However, maybe they are shy and don't want to admit it. I know about half a dozen straight women who have admitted they have had a threesome before. So essentially for straight women they seem to either say they don't want a threesome or that they have had one - it seems odd that no one is saying 'I have not had a threesome but would like to try it' - hence my theory about the shyness in admitting it.

    So I don't think this is just an '80% of men' thing, I think the statistic for women would be high as well, but maybe societal pressure makes women lie in surveys and say 'no I don't want a threesome' for fear of being slut shamed.
     
  10. Nevmys

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    Thanks for answering. I heard this statistic in a PsychologyToday Article. And apparently is about straight men and women.
     
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  11. Humbly Me

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    I think it would be abnormal to not be able to enjoy one, but it's not wrong to prefer a single partner or multiple or even none at all. That said you might benefit from trying to figure out why you prefer what you do.
     
  12. EverDeer

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    You’re fine for having your own tastes. I’ve been in threesomes and would do it again, but only with the right people, and it’s not a comparable experience to loving sex with someone you’re committed to. It’s just a different type of novelty in my mind. Fun on occasion, but not really necessary for my survival. There’s plenty of people who go their wholes lives never even experimenting with that because they just don’t want to / don’t care.
     
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  13. BiBarefeet

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    Love the idea of gay sex with 2 men and being "the meat in the sandwich"...but the reality is that I would probably feel too nervous to go through with it.

    Fantastic fantasy though.
     
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  14. beenthrdonetht

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    FWIW (not much) most of the partners I have had, if the topic came up, have admitted (with some embarrassment) that they thought the idea of a threesome (with whatever gender balance) was attractive. The longer ago this was, the more embarrassment and trepidation. Nowadays it's a lot easier to see what kinds of fantasies are common.
     
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  15. Devil Dave

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    I get most of my sexual activity in saunas, which are public environments, so it's pretty common to get into group sex. I'm quite happy to have a one on one encounter with a hot guy, but I'm not going to say no to a bunch of horny guys who invite me to join in with them. I admit I do like to just let myself go when the opportunity arises and get caught up in a writhing mass of bodies tugging and jerking and sucking each other. It's a total escape for me. You've tried it and liked it and decided you prefer one on one sex, and that's totally normal. Many people would rather pursue the intimacy that one on one sex offers, with nobody else interfering. Some people like the joining in of multiple partners more than others. You're entitled to your preferences.
     
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  16. Odahingum

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    Don't let other people's expectations pressure you into sharing their preferences, and don't let anyone try to shame you for having your own preferences. You are under no obligation to conform to someone else's idea of how kinky you "ought" to be.